


Less Than a Mile Away

by minshuas



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, M/M, Therapy, There are minor mentions of drinking but no one gets drunk., Wonwoo and Seulgi are siblings.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 14:27:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 37,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12483724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minshuas/pseuds/minshuas
Summary: Wonwoo's just tired of being the third wheel. He's not looking for a spontaneous, earth-shattering love when he signs up for Tinder. No, he's just trying to find someone to accompany him in the backseat. Someone who he can turn to when Mingyu is being his disgustingly gushy self.He doesn't expect to find Kwon Soonyoung, and he definitely doesn't expect to find love.





	1. Cha Cha Slide on Over

**Author's Note:**

  * For [historiologies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/historiologies/gifts).



> tinder au is here :)  
> thanks for the support!!!
> 
> i nixed the title 'can you cha cha slide on over here' but think of that as the secondary title
> 
>  
> 
> pls enjoy if any of the images break, let me know on twitter or in the comments!!  
> this chap has 2 images fyi

A shriek followed by peals of laughter capture Wonwoo’s wandering attention. At this point, it shouldn’t. It really shouldn’t cause him to waver at all, but there’s not much else to pay any mind to in this club. The live music is of poor quality that he usually wouldn’t knock… except not one damn person on stage knows how to hold an instrument, let alone how to play one. The vocalist is drowned out by the cacophony of the untuned masses around him. Wonwoo pities them, he does, but pity isn’t going to make them any better of an act. He wants to let the club know that if they keep hiring teenagers, then they will keep getting subpar performances that are unimpressive. With a university nearby, they have plenty of better candidates than underage acts. To be honest, it shouldn’t matter that they might have to give out a couple of free beers or whatever, because ultimately it would bring in a lot more people if the club became known for good music.

When Wonwoo tears his gaze away from the stage, he’s met with Mingyu and Joshua’s blatant PDA. Their “newly together” phase had already passed… years ago, but that didn’t matter to them. In their relationship, there are no phases, which means, to them, that every phase is the “newly together” phase. When they share glances, it is as though they are transported back in time to when they had first fallen in love. Wonwoo couldn’t understand that… couldn’t understand  _ them _ . He’s been in a fair amount of relationships in his twenty-one years and never had he experienced love in the same way they do. For him, love is something to work towards, but Mingyu and Joshua loved freely.  _ Very  _ freely. It’s pretty disgusting actually. If they could keep their hands off of each other for just a couple minutes, then Wonwoo would be genuinely amazed. Honestly, he doesn’t know why he keeps going out with them when these nights always end with the two of them wrapped around each other.

They aren’t bad friends.

Actually, Wonwoo thinks they are the best friends he could have ever asked to have. Others often are quick to tell him that he needs new friends, but he doesn’t agree with that sentiment. Plus, he has tons of other friends that he could hang out with if he wanted to… and he would rather be with Mr. & Mr. Perfect than with any of them. It is probably good for him too, since it reminds him that he’s hopelessly single. Constantly. Like right now. “ _ Please _ get a room…” Wonwoo rolls his eyes when he discovers that the source of the laughter is Mingyu skating his fingers across Joshua’s midsection, eliciting soft laughter from him. Mingyu is the booming laughter echoing across the busy club, drawing people’s attention over towards the table in the corner.  _ More attention… That’s just what Mingyu and Joshua’s relationship needed…  _

“Didn’t your manager instruct you to be less touchy in public places?” Wonwoo deadpans. He doesn’t agree with Mingyu’s manager, but she leaves a strong impression. She’s a reversal type: soft and beautiful, but also brutally honest and blunt. Wonwoo had no opinion of her, but respected her strong character. Plus, she had been one of the only people willing to walk alongside Mingyu after he came out to the public.  _ That takes a strength unimaginable in this time, in this world…  _ Her words had shaken up the majority of Seoul, or at least the younger crowds. Park Jiyoung was the perfect match for managing Mingyu, but Wonwoo couldn’t trust her. It had nothing to do with her or her reversal charm. Honestly, Wonwoo just couldn’t trust anyone with Mingyu’s life. Except…  _ maybe  _ Joshua. 

In response, Mingyu shrugs. “We’re in a dark club… No one is paying any attention to us.” 

Joshua nods in agreement. Wonwoo watches the lights dance across his skin. “This is a high-end place.” 

“You fail to recognize that fans come from all demographics.” Wonwoo sighs in response. “I don’t care what you two do or where you do it, you know that. I just think that if you wanted to go on a  _ date  _ then you shouldn’t have invited me. I think you misunderstood the meaning of a third-wheel. It isn’t necessarily positive to  _ be  _ one.” 

“ _ We  _ don’t think of you as a third wheel, Wonwoo-ah.” Mingyu leans towards him. He’s magnetizing. A type of person that should be avoided at all costs. Wonwoo finds himself leaning forward in his seat to give him his attention. In return, Mingyu places a stray hand on Wonwoo’s chin.  _ This is what it feels like to have power and understand completely. To be the main attraction in the in-crowd... _

They’ve known each other since the start of college when Mingyu’s parents had forced him to live on his own. It had been an order: to find success so he no longer depended on them. His parents never could have imagined the success Mingyu would reach in just two years. Wonwoo had already been enrolled for a year when Mingyu came into his life, requesting to fill his roommate request without even seeing the living space. In that first year, Mingyu hadn’t realized what his looks could do for him, but by now… there was no way he didn’t know how to use them to get what he wanted. Wonwoo reasons that there is no other reason that level-headed Joshua would have fallen for him unless Mingyu utilized that power. But, also, Wonwoo could just be assuming the worst about people. That’s just what he did because people usually succumbed to the assumptions he made concerning them. A self-fulfilling prophecy.

Grumpily, Wonwoo pulls away from Mingyu’s touch as though it burns. “You speak for Joshua now?” He raises an eyebrow. It isn’t the point of Mingyu’s statement by far, but Wonwoo loves watching the way Joshua’s eyes widen in surprise. 

His gaze flits between Mingyu and Wonwoo before settling on his untouched glass of water. “That’s not what he means. We’ve had this conversation so many times, Wonwoo.” Even Joshua’s voice gathers a hardness. Both may be annoyed by the repetition in their outings. Wonwoo is probably to blame, but he won’t come to see it that way. 

“Maybe you should start seeing someone, Wonwoo-ah. We could also invite more people out when...” 

“No,” Wonwoo cuts in immediately. The face he makes is one of noticeable disgust. Both know that he hardly enjoys going out with them. College drains him of the energy that he used to possess. He had always been a weirder kid, on the outside cusp of popularity, but now he has a plethora of friends that always are trying to invite him out. Instead of opening himself up to them, he’s generated more work for himself. He may be studying to become a botanist, but now he’s picking up modeling jobs and helping the wannabe rappers with rap making. It’s more work than socializing, so he prefers it. If Mingyu could invite more people out to the clubs with him, then they would be crammed into booths and the alcohol would be flowing. He likes it with Joshua and Mingyu only. Joshua doesn’t drink because it goes against his morals, but he doesn’t knock it when Wonwoo and Mingyu have a glass of wine. There may be a privacy in large gatherings, but Wonwoo doesn’t see it that way. There are too many gazes for him to ever see it that way. 

“Fine.” Mingyu shrugs. Wonwoo thinks that recently he’s been doing that a lot more around him. “You could start seeing someone though, Wonwoo-ah. No one would be upset to see you softening around the edges.” The hand that had been holding Wonwoo’s chin goes to move a piece of stray hair off Joshua’s forehead. “It’d be nice to see you smile more.” He says, but it’s like he’s far away. His gaze doesn’t waver from Joshua’s hesitant one. 

They are sharing a private look. Wonwoo quickly finds his attention being drawn back to the deconstruction of the band’s instruments on stage. During their previous conversations on this topic, Mingyu had introduced him to dating applications and gave him the dates for blind dating events on campus. He had made a profile on a popular app called Tinder, but he didn’t trust it enough to use it. With his luck, he’d be catfished by some unrealistically handsome guy. He’d fall deeply in love with him only to discover that  _ she  _ is a big fan of Mingyu and has only been using him to get close to  _ him _ . He often assumes the worst about people; therefore, trust isn’t given all that freely. 

Plus… what would happen if he gave up his spot within Mingyu’s in-crowd because of a stupid act like that?

Not only is he not willing to risk his emotions or their friendship, but he’s also not willing to let go of this taste of fame. He’s not famous by any means, even if there’s a whole magazine featuring him as the main model throughout  _ and  _ on the cover page, so he doesn’t even belong beside Mingyu and Joshua. An award-winning, young actor and a professional musician turned producer spending all their time with a future botanist. It made no sense and it challenged the makeup of the cliques on campus. Wonwoo threatens the normality of them because he’s doesn’t match the clique that he belongs to. He should be hanging out with science nerds, instead he’s drinking with those at the top of the social ladder. Everyone wants to be able to share a table with Kim Mingyu, but his close friends are numbered and somehow, Wonwoo is unlucky number three (behind the love of his life, Joshua Hong, and his absolute best friend from childhood, Xu Minghao). 

It’s so childish to worry about belonging to the popular clique, but Wonwoo can’t help it. Especially when, his whole life, he’s been unable to keep a stable hold on friends. He’d rather have the glitz of fake friendship among a large crowd rather than struggle with loners like himself. In elementary school, he had been wildly unpopular for his odd antics that worried the other children. One brave child had attempted to befriend him, but even he had other friends that he could fall back on when Wonwoo never opened up to him. It had been like that in high school too, except Wonwoo did end up making friends with his classmates. The only issue that arose was that he didn’t belong with them. He was their friend, but none of them depended on him or cared to ask him to hang out. Mingyu’s group  is so different from his past. Within Mingyu’s clique, he’s important and even if people didn’t think he belonged, they treated him like he did. As long as he could keep up with them, he could stay on positive terms with everyone and they would ask for his opinions on outfits and dates and projects. Here, he is needed and everyone wants to be needed by someone. 

“Wonwoo-ah?” It’s Joshua, hand on his shoulder. Mingyu is standing, fiddling with his clothes. “We are going to get going now since you two have classes tomorrow. Mingyu’s going to close his tab and meet us at the car.” 

He nods, following Joshua out of the booth. Mingyu gives them a thumbs-up before he takes off towards the bar. Joshua waits for Wonwoo to fall into step with him before proceeding any further across the emptying club. It’s nearly four in the morning on a Sunday so it is an amazing feat that there is anyone other than them occupying the place. 

“Wonwoo-ah?” Joshua is touching his shoulder again, but this time he’s much more shy about the gesture. “I was hoping to be able to share a couple words with you. Mingyu isn’t always helpful and patient. He’s a go-getter, so I don’t think he understands that you might be more… reserved.” He speaks slowly, as though he’s carefully evaluating each word he says before continuing. It’s not the first time he’s ever seen Joshua like this, but that’s only because Joshua is normally like this with him. Wonwoo’s convinced that he’s scared of him, although he would never admit to that. Mingyu disagrees with Wonwoo’s theory too.  _ It isn’t like Joshua to be scared of a friend.  _

He hums thoughtlessly, passing Joshua so he can hold the door open for him with one hand. Joshua passes through and offers a bow in gratitude before he continues. “We really don’t think of you as a third wheel and we are willing to help you in any way we can so that you don’t feel so awkward around us. When we invite you out with us, we only want to spend time with you. If you’d like, I could introduce you to some of my friends or you could look around on those apps that Mingyu recommended. I don’t… think they will work all that well, but I’m not an expert. Life could surprise you there…” He chuckles and Wonwoo has the good sense to join in softly. He’s not wrong though, so Wonwoo finds himself at a loss for words. He wants to argue with Joshua about how things will always stay this way, but he knows that’s useless and blatantly wrong. 

“I’ll look around. Maybe  _ I’ll  _ surprise the two of you and have someone accompanying me on Wednesday.” He finds himself smiling. It’s completely impossible for him to find someone in three days, but he likes the look that Joshua gives him. There’s a hopefulness in his gaze. Wonwoo knows that both Mingyu and Joshua worry over him because with every month, he just falls into himself a little more and they are lucky if they can coax him to hang out. He probably needs more people in his life that he depends on. The friends that rely on him aren’t relied on by him. “I make no promises or guarantees though.  _ And  _ you don’t tell Jeonghan to try to fix me up with anyone.” 

Joshua looks offended, clutching a hand to his chest. “You think I would stoop as low as Jeonghan for matchmaking services?” He laughs. “He doesn’t even understand his own love life, if it even exists.” They turn from the sidewalk into the parking garage. They are parked on the lowest level so they only have to weave in between cars until Joshua has found Mingyu’s black sports car that Wonwoo tried to talk him out of buying with every ounce of his good reason. It had utterly failed because Mingyu’s eyes just gleamed with desire the more Wonwoo talked about it. In the end, it had been because of Wonwoo’s constant blabbering about the car that he had returned to purchase it. 

“I will try though,” Wonwoo touches his hand against the handle of the door behind the passenger seat. Joshua nods firmly, unlocking the doors with his set of keys. Neither open their door because they can feel the expectancy in the air. They want to exchange more words on this subject, but it is already such an annoying discussion. To Wonwoo, it is burdensome and to Joshua, it is repetitive. “I’d hate to be sitting in the backseat alone anymore.” 

Slowly, he smiles. Joshua shakes his head, climbing into the car, blatantly ignoring him now. 

“Aren’t you driving?” Mingyu breathlessly rejoins them. Instead of exhausted, he looks windswept and it pisses Wonwoo off that he can just look the way he does without expending any effort. It’s just a slight pang of jealousy that passes quickly. Being jealous of Mingyu just isn’t worth it. Wonwoo isn’t sure if anyone will ever  _ truly  _ compare to him. The question he asks, though, is directed towards Joshua. 

In all honesty, Joshua looks like he might fall asleep at the wheel, but Wonwoo can’t help but to understand why Mingyu is asking. The last thing they need is for an accident to occur because Mingyu feels more sober than he actually is, or for them to pile into a taxi only for Mingyu’s car to be found missing or damaged in the morning. 

Joshua groans, opening his door and switching spots with Mingyu. “Designated driver is a billion times worse than third wheel,” he shares over his shoulder. Wonwoo bites down on a laugh. “At least this late into the night, it is.” 

“I’ll concede with that.” Wonwoo pats his shoulder consoling. In the passenger seat, buckled, Mingyu gives a lopsided smile to the both of them. This is the type of friendship that Wonwoo wants to hold onto even when he feels like he’s the only person he’d like to know. It would be a simpler existence if he didn’t have to worry about anyone but himself, but that’s not an existence that he wants to live anymore, especially since he met these two. 

Finally, Joshua starts the car and takes off. 

The drive back to Wonwoo’s place is quiet. Mingyu quickly falls into a light slumber as he usually does whenever he’s not the one driving. Joshua is a quiet, focused driver and Wonwoo doesn’t mind welcoming the echoing silence punctuated intermittently by the rev of the engine. He figures that he could let himself nod off as well, but they’ll be at his house in less than fifteen minutes, so the short amount of sleep he’ll get doesn’t amount to much in his mind. 

Instead of sleeping, he takes his phone out of his pocket and opens the Tinder app.  _ It shouldn’t matter what time I get on it. Plus people will need to know I’m a night owl, right?  _ He doesn’t know if that’s true or not, but he doesn’t have anything better to do with the handful of minutes that he has right now. Soon he’ll be able to be crashing into his bed, but for now, he could at least keep his mind busy.  _ It won’t hurt to just check out _ , he reasons with himself. If anything, he’ll become knowledgeable in how to use the app. It starts up and there’s a feeling of regret pooling in his stomach. Joshua stops at a red light and Wonwoo looks up to see where they are. In those few seconds, the app loads completely and greets him with a popup asking him to pay for the premium version. 

_ No thanks.  _ He closes out of the popup and focuses on the profile that had been lying underneath it.

It’s a picture of a blond boy with whipped cream on his lips, but it’s not provocative in the slightest. Instead, he thinks it is supposed to look cute or silly. Wonwoo doesn’t really know what to think of it, but there is something about the boy that seems unremarkably familiar. Maybe he’s crossed paths with him while walking to class or at the grocery store. It’s his smile that Wonwoo remembers best, as he scrolls through his six pictures, he comes to that realization. But no matter how hard he tries to think of why he could know this boy, he just can’t remember. He examines each of his pictures carefully, marvelling at the one of him decorated with flowers.  _ He’s… not ugly _ . The emotionless monster within Wonwoo won’t let him bestow the words  _ cute  _ or  _ adorable  _ to a boy he doesn’t know, even if said boy is the same age as he is. 

His profile says that he’s a dance instructor and that he goes to the same university, so for all he knows, he could have crossed paths with him. Wonwoo goes away from his pictures and reads the short section he’s written. He remembers Joshua having told him that he’d be lucky if he stumbled across anyone with any real information in theirs and ‘Soonyoung’ didn’t really let him know much about himself except that he’s still in college, a dance instructor, he loves dogs, he has strong legs, and he knows the cha cha slide, but Wonwoo’s eyes light up on “ _ Friends and admirers both welcome over here.”  _ He wonders if ‘Soonyoung’ might be someone he could just try to approach. If it didn’t work out, then he could say that he also was just looking to be friends (even if his profile didn’t necessarily say that… at all.). He’s just about to swipe his finger over his picture when Joshua’s voice draws him back to reality. 

Mingyu’s head lolls not unattractively in his seat. Wonwoo quickly closes out of the app, looking around only to notice that Joshua’s already made it to Wonwoo’s house. The lack of traffic and Wonwoo’s interest in ‘Soonyoung’s’ profile had made the drive go by so much faster he hadn’t even noticed they were already in his driveway. “Good night,” Joshua says softly as Wonwoo climbs out of the car. “I’ll see you at lunch probably. Don’t stay up too late.” 

Lifting his hand to wave good bye, Wonwoo walks backwards towards his doorway. He trades his phone for his keys during the walk. When Joshua’s pulled out of his driveway, Wonwoo finally turns around to unlock his door. The house is dark and greets him eerily. He’s never loved living alone, but he’d always prefer it to having noisy roommates. The only roommates that he had enjoyed had decided to kick their relationship up a notch and Wonwoo would rather be a couple miles away from that. Joshua and Mingyu deserved their privacy anyway. 

After he’s entered, he starts getting ready for bed, forgetting all about the boy with whipped cream on his lips. 

 

His usual schedule involves making sure Mingyu knows that he’s alive and hangover-less. It should annoy him by now, but Mingyu’s morning texts are welcoming. They remind him that their relationship is not just a sham. Mingyu wants to know if he’s alright after drinking two glasses of wine and in return, Wonwoo ponders Mingyu’s state of being. ‘ _ Fine.’  _ He texts back which is a strangely curt answer for the never ending happiness that Mingyu exudes, but Wonwoo rules it as exhaustion. Mingyu’s had to balance school with his acting career and it hasn’t been for the best. His mental state had certainly taken the impact of it, but Wonwoo is reassured whenever they spend time together because he’s finding ways to work around his busy schedule and to get rest. Joshua’s there to help him too, so Wonwoo is confident that he’s being taken care of well. 

He goes about getting ready for class the same way as he usually does. A shower comes first, then he has breakfast. All the while, he makes sure not to pay attention to the passage of time. If he gets lucky, then he’ll miss his lecture which will be the highlight of his Monday. This is his normal Monday routine. The other days of the week, he usually avoids missing his classes, but he can’t help it that he has a lecture hall on Monday morning that makes him wish he could drop out. He’d certainly be happier if he could, then he wouldn’t have to deal with the crowded classroom with students hardly paying attention to the professor’s wheezing voice. He just isn’t interested in learning about science in that way and he doesn’t think he ever will be. 

Wonwoo needed to hold science, to breathe it in. If he just listened to what a professor prattled about, then he wouldn’t be able to focus or retain any of the knowledge. Lectures, Wonwoo reasons, are for Literature or Philosophy majors. Those are the students who need to discuss and absorb information. Their hands just couldn’t hold their field of study the same way that Wonwoo’s held his. His science is akin to art in his mind. Whenever he examines a plant or discovers a way to alter the biological makeup of a species to generate a new species, he is committing an act of artistry. Maybe others couldn’t understand that, but that’s how it is for Wonwoo. It’s every reason why he tries to avoid wasting his time in that lecture hall on most Monday mornings. Maybe it is irresponsible, but it is his money and his education. If his parents had supported him, then he might have decided to play it safe and go to his lecture hall every day, but they didn’t want him to pursue botany. They had wanted him to try his hand out on a different kind of science.  _ One that’s actually worth something…  _ His father would say. 

But, to Wonwoo, botany  _ is  _ worth it. 

To say it is his dream career might be an exaggeration of what botany means for Wonwoo in the long run. He doesn’t necessarily dream about becoming anything, although when he was younger, he did want to be a writer. Now, however, he only wants to succeed. If asked, then that would be his dream: avoiding failure, succeeding in life.There are no wings that want to take flight or hands wanting so badly they ache. All Wonwoo really asks for out of life is a type of stability, accepetance, and success. He’s much too old for pipe dreams or childhood fantasies even if he’s only just grown out of his childhood clothing. Twenty-one is barely adult, but Wonwoo thinks it is a changing time. No longer will he be the child Wonwoo, but the adult. Responsibility is welcomed, loneliness clings, the threat of failure looms close. This is what it is to be adult at twenty-one. 

While making waffles, he successfully passes into the time he’s allotted himself to walk to class. Ten minutes later and he’ll have cut into the first five minutes of class. After that, all he has to do is find ways to keep himself busy until lunch. The rest of his classes are mandatory because of either the small class size or the compulsary attendance taking. But he can have Monday morning to himself, as long as he earns it. 

He’s back at his dining room table with his food and orange juice when he hears his phone vibrating. Groaning, he shiftly checks it and, lo and behold, it is Jeonghan. This is the only class they share, and they aren’t friends, but Joshua loves Jeonghan to pieces.  _ They  _ are friends and Wonwoo has just been roped into the relationship.  _ You aren’t coming to class? I’m telling Joshua on you.  _ It’s a threat that glances off Wonwoo. Joshua is about as threatening as a toothpick. The next message is slightly more threatening, but it only upgrades from toothpick to moping puppy.  _ Then he’ll tell Mingyu.  _

_ Boo hoo.  _ Wonwoo types back, smirking to himself.  _ Text me if I miss anything important.  _

He can imagine  _ perfectly  _ the expression on Jeonghan’s face. It would be frustrated anger. He’d want to be angry, but without Wonwoo beside him, there’s no proper way to release it, so it turns to a sort of annoyance instead.  _ Never. I want you to fail just like you want to leave me lonely.  _ Wonwoo doesn’t feel bad for leaving Jeonghan alone and he doesn’t feel bad for not responding to him either. If he thinks he deserves waffles, eggs, and orange juice on a sleepy Monday morning, then that’s what he deserves. No droning lecturers making him want to tear his hair out of his head here. Just happiness in the form of a good meal. 

However, being on his phone does remind him that he had been preoccupied with a certain blond on a certain app last night. ‘Soonyoung…’ There is nothing striking about the boy. Aside from his full cheeks and exuberant smile, Wonwoo thinks that he looks quite ordinary. He has a face that doesn’t stand out. He’s clearly not a model or an actor. ‘Soonyoung’ is incredibly normal in appearance. Just another plain face blending in at this university. Maybe he’d make it big, or maybe he’d fail and no one would bother to remember him. Even though he thinks of him as unremarkable and not easy to remember, Wonwoo can’t get his profile picture out of his head. It’s absolutely ridiculous. 

He opens the app while he’s still eating even though he’s been taught that being on his phone at the table is incredibly rude. (He understands that he’s alone, but it’s nearly ingrained into his system. Even alone, he shouldn’t be on his phone at the table. The meal is the highlight, yet this boy won’t get out of his head.) When he clears out of the popup this time, ‘Soonyoung’s’ profile doesn’t greet him. Instead, it is a dark-haired boy with visuals carved by the gods. His smile is radiant and, unlike ‘Soonyoung,’ this boy looks like an actor. His profile name is Seungwoo and he’s around his age. Wonwoo feels nothing as he swipes left. 

After Seungwoo, there are many people who show up one right after the other and Wonwoo swipes left on all of them (except for Junhui, because as sarcastic as he is, Wonwoo  _ does  _ consider him a friend and he just doesn’t know how to swipe left on a friend). There are so many people twenty miles around him, who are men interested in men, but none of them are ‘Soonyoung.’ No matter how long he spends swiping, he can’t find the boy. He even lowers the age he’s looking for to 20-22, but still there is no sign of him. He’s about to lose hope when he decides that if he just rapidly swipes, then he’ll be able to get through more profiles in a shorter amount of time. 

So, he eats and swipes, ignoring how desperate he seems, and for a boy that isn’t anything like Wonwoo forsees himself going out with. The pull ‘Soonyoung’ has on him is a total mystery. It makes absolutely no sense to him, but here he is swiping through hundreds of profile, trying to find one ‘Soonyoung.’ Jeonghan texts him again, interrupting him.  _ No assignments _ . It pops up and makes Wonwoo lose the concentration that he had. It also makes him realize that he’s spent the entirety of his morning swiping through profiles on Tinder with little regard for what was happening around him. Already, he’s spent his whole morning on the damn app looking for one boy. 

_ I might have better luck asking around _ , he thinks as he swipes left on a familiar profile. 

“Shit,” he nearly drops his orange juice in his rush to tap the rewind button. The ever-present popup reminds him of how much it costs to upgrade his services, so he closes out of it. But still, the profile after ‘Soonyoung’s’ is staring at him.  _ Will I be able to match with him again if I swiped left on him? Should I close out of the app and restart it?  _ He doesn’t know what to do, so he clicks on the rewind button again, this time reading the popup carefully. 

Immediately, he pays for the preminum version. Later, he’ll regret spending his money so wastefully, but he’s not giving up the chance to match with the boy with a blue star next to his name.  _ What does that mean?  _ He has no idea, but he’s not about to Google it or text his friends to ask them. Either he’d find it out on his own or it wouldn’t ever matter. After the payment has gone through, he presses the button once more and watches as the previous profiles are rewound. Quickly, he finds ‘Soonyoung.’ 

Finally, he swipes right.


	2. A Match Made in... Heaven?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They matched. Who knows what happens next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sometimes known to spoil the masses w 2 chaps  
> enjoy!!!

His phone falls from his hands onto his syrupy plate.

“What..?” It shouldn’t surprise him that ‘Soonyoung’ has swiped right on him too, but he’s momentarily flustered. The chat room opens up between them and Wonwoo clams up. Now that he has the opportunity to talk to him, he has no idea what to say. There is nothing in his profile that he can relate to: he doesn’t like dancing all that much, he’s vaguely afraid  _ and  _ allergic to dogs, and his legs are pencil-thin and weak. He’s a botany student with an interest in hanging out with people too high up on the social ladder while ‘Soonyoung’ is either too high up on the social ladder (which is unlikely, Wonwoo thinks, but he’s a dance instructor so he could be quite impressive) or he’s just as normal as his appearance lets on. 

If Wonwoo knew more about him, then he could easily approach him.  _ ‘Soonyoung’ superliked you!  _ greets him at the top of the chat, but he doesn’t know what to do with that information or what it even means. Maybe it is related to that blue star beside his name. The app had tried to teach him about “superlikes” but he didn’t care to read the information supplied. 

_ What do I do?  _ He’s not panicking right now. 

_ What am I supposed to say?  _ He’s really not panicking. 

_ Should I Google conversation starters?  _ So, maybe he is panicking just a little bit. 

It is only a little bit though because otherwise, it would make no sense. ‘Soonyoung’ is a stranger to him. There is no reason for him to be so nervous at the prospect of starting a conversation with him. He could simply greet him or send him a joke, but it is like his fingers have betrayed him. He doesn’t know what to type or if he’ll be able to send the message after he finally thinks of what to say. It’s so ridiculous. If Mingyu were here, then he’d be making fun of him for being so uncharacteristically anxious in such a situation.  _ It’s meaningless,  _ Mingyu would say,  _ Just make an impression if it matters so much to you. _

_ Easy for you to say.  _ He decides to exit out of the app, pocketing his phone. Now, he deserves a nap to shut head Mingyu up. 

 

“The man of the hour!” Mingyu stands up to greet Wonwoo with a glowing smile when he enters the busy cafeteria. Their table used to be in the center of the dining area, but Joshua mentioned that being next to a window would be nice. Others instantly agreed and Wonwoo had been reminded that plants tended to bend in towards the light. Now, they sit near the set of doors on the right side of the building. The frozen yogurt place is closer to them than the food court is. “Welcome, we were just wondering about you.” He claps a hand onto his shoulder when he is close enough and Wonwoo forces a smile towards the table. 

Jeonghan is there, but otherwise it is the usual group: Seungcheol, Joshua, Minghao, and Junhui… and of course, Mingyu. 

Perking up just slightly, Junhui offers a small wave. “Hey, Wonwoo. Nice to see you.” He nods towards Junhui, taking his seat next to Joshua and Seungcheol. “We weren’t wondering about you… Jeonghan had just let us know that you skipped class this morning.” 

Suddenly, Wonwoo thinks Junhui’s smile looks dangerous.  _ I’m in deep shit with Junhui now…  _ The only person at the table who thought of skipping as unforgivable is Junhui. Joshua would reprimand others for it and it made Jeonghan upset to not have a friend in the class, but Junhui would grow livid at the thought of wasting an educational journey.  _ I had a bit of a hangover  _ sounds like the worst response to give him, so Wonwoo tries another. “I have a huge exam today, so I couldn’t focus on the lecture. I asked Jeonghan to let me know if we went over anything that wasn’t in the textbook.” He lies easily, biting down on his tongue so he doesn’t make the lie more extravagant than necessary. 

Junhui narrows his eyes. “What class?” No one at the table falls for this facade of a friendly conversation. 

“Chemistry,” Wonwoo answers swiftly. Gaze wavering, Junhui refocuses on Jeonghan. It is the one part of his lie that won’t hold up. He knows better than to depend on Jeonghan to lie for him, but he couldn’t stop himself. 

“He told me to tell him if anything important happened,” Jeonghan says nonchalantly. It’s a sideless statement. It pacifies Junhui enough for him to lean back in his seat and return his attention to his food without a further argument. Wonwoo knows that he’ll be getting a text later from him, asking him to attend his classes even if he doesn’t want to and he’ll have to make another fake promise to Junhui about being a good student.

Mingyu claps his hands together, trying to dispel the tension. “So, what were you saying, Junhui? Before Wonwoo showed up?” Everyone’s attention shifts back to Junhui. It isn’t surprising that he has some form of gossip to spread because he’s always the one who learns everything about everyone. He wonders if he might know Soonyoung. He’s dabbled in dancing while on campus, so out of everyone, other than Minghao, he might know him. Minghao is unapproachable though, in Wonwoo’s mind. Mingyu’s two best friends are not allowed to interact and both have always accepted that fact even though no one has ever forced them to avoid each other. Wonwoo thinks it is better that way, but he can’t read Minghao. For all he knows, Minghao might want to befriend him. 

In Junhui fashion, he holds out on spilling the beans until everyone is hooked, bordering on annoyed. “I matched with Wonwoo on Tinder.” He says slyly, gaze drifting to Wonwoo.  _ Holy shit,  _ Wonwoo wishes he could disappear.  _ Of course… Junhui couldn’t resist letting everyone know that they matched.  _ What did that mean for Wonwoo though? Would everyone start to question him about his dating life? Maybe it would give him a chance to bring up ‘Soonyoung’ to gauge everyone’s reactions. Or maybe it would be better if he just brushed this off. 

Seungcheol whistles low, grinning wolfishly. Mingyu and Joshua share the smallest of smiles. The others don’t have much of a response, so Junhui might feel that he’s losing their interest. He apparently knows how to remedy that though because in a flash he’s presenting them with Wonwoo’s profile.

“Oh! You mention me!” Mingyu surges forward to snatch the phone out of Junhui’s hands before Wonwoo can grab it. Joshua curiously peers over Mingyu’s shoulder so he can join in on viewing it. It makes Wonwoo uneasy, but he doesn’t think there is anything embarrassing on his profile, so he can’t imagine his friends finding anything to make fun of him for. That has him easing back in his seat, but he’s still anxiously waiting for them to find something to comment on. If they did, then he’d have to delete his whole profile. That might be hasty and overdramatic, but there would be no way for him to get back on Tinder if his friends thought that he looked like a loser. 

Minghao takes the phone next, flipping through his chosen pictures. “These are pretty good. You look handsome in them.” He says, surprising Wonwoo. It makes sense that he wouldn’t give his friends the benefit of the doubt and instead, immediately expect them to pick out his flaws or the embarrassing bits in his profile. “It’s the right amount of ‘I’m an entitled shit’ mixed with ‘I’m not totally desperate.’ You’ll have tons of admirers. You already have Junhui, at least, since he matched with you.” Laughing at Junhui’s soured expression, Minghao passes the phone to Seungcheol and Jeonghan. 

“You should have included a shot from that magazine…” Jeonghan says as though he’s just now realizing how nice it would look among his other images. It isn’t that he hasn’t thought of that himself, but he figured that that might look too pretentious, even if he had copies of the photographs themselves, not just the spreads done on him. “That one where you are reading? You look so nice in it. People could imagine you as their cozy boyfriend.” He laughs lightly and Wonwoo joins in with him. The thought of him as cozy is enough of a joke it makes him laugh. If he tried to convince anyone that he liked to cuddle up with  _ anyone  _ or  _ anything,  _ they would just laugh at him. He’s a prickly person, like a porcupine or a hedgehog (probably a hedgehog since his quills could be put away when needed). None of his friends would even dare to hug him.

Finally, the phone is given back to Junhui who pockets it immediately. “Why did you swipe right on me?” He asks. It is in good nature, Wonwoo thinks, because he’s smiling a little bit. There’s no expectancy there, so he knows that Wonwoo hasn’t done it because he’s secretly in love with him. Instead, it is almost like Junhui expects the answer that Wonwoo has ready. 

“It felt wrong to swipe left on a friend,” Wonwoo shrugs. Junhui nods in understanding. 

That ends the conversation on Tinder. More conversation arise, but most are stomped out because of the lack of substance. No one truly knows whether this or that rumor is true or false, or they are not entirely sure who said what about whom. Wonwoo tunes gossip out. If it isn’t about him, then he doesn’t even need to think about it. To him, it is quite meaningless. Gossip never seems to do any good and actually, it often harms others. Although... Wonwoo might filter everything that is said over lunch as gossip. 

Joshua presses a hand against his shoulder. The touch is familar and Wonwoo leans into it. “Yeah?” He asks, not looking up from unwrapping his sandwich. His hand is removed and Joshua ducks his head low as if they could possibly have a private conversation at this table. 

“How has your search been? If you’ve swiped on Junhui, then you must’ve seen some other profiles.” His voice is a whisper. Wonwoo has to lean in closer to be able to hear him well enough to have a proper conversation. No one at the table pays them any mind aside from Mingyu who gives them a quick look before returning his attention to his food. “See anything you like?” There’s a playfulness in his expression that he can’t shatter. 

_ Soonyoung.  _ His mind wants to talk about the blond boy with the strange profile picture.  _ He knows the Cha Cha Slide,  _ he could share with Joshua because that’s about as much as he knows. If only he would have messaged him, then he would be able to share more details, hopefully. Maybe Soonyoung has a similar sense of humor as Wonwoo or he likes the same music as Mingyu. He’d never know any of this if he didn’t seek the answers himself, but no matter what, he will be asking this boy to accompany him on Wednesday. Even if that’s the only thing he can think of to say to him. 

He decides that, against his better judgement, Joshua is trustworthy enough to handle an admittance. “I matched with this boy named Soonyoung. He’s my age and goes here. We haven’t had the chance to talk much yet.” This time when he lies, it is a smaller one. Joshua won’t even question it. “He’s… not ugly. I don’t know though… You know how hard dating is, especially when boys are just thrown at you with little information other than their occupation, school, age, and name.” He shrugs. Joshua covers his mouth to stiffle a laugh. 

Still though, no one is paying them any mind. “I wouldn’t understand completely…” He admits. “However, thinking about it… It sounds like the worst way to find a date. I don’t think that I could ever meet someone through a dating app, but that’s up to a personal difference between myself and others. You have to want it to work for it to even attempt to work. You can sign up there and expect nothing. That’s what you’ll get. Self-fulfilling prophecy.” Wonwoo snorts, which does draw Junhui’s attention, but other than a raised eyebrow, he leaves them alone to their private conversation. Wonwoo’s turns back to Joshua in time to hear the excitement catch in his voice. “Do you have a picture of him?” 

And it really wouldn’t hurt for Wonwoo to show him a picture of ‘Soonyoung,’ but at the same time, he’s worried that Joshua will recognize him or someone at the table will demand to see what he’s showing Joshua. He hesitates and in those few seconds of hesitation, he watches Joshua’s smile falter. Finally, against his better judgement once again, he gives in to Joshua. It hardly takes any time for Wonwoo to open the app and navigate to ‘Soonyoung’s’ profile. 

“He’s cute..!” It’s a wonder how Joshua can whisper so excitedly. His hands form little balls as he looks towards Mingyu in askance. Wonwoo nods solemnly and Mingyu peers over Joshua’s shoulder so he can view the picture of ‘Soonyoung’ too. He’s picked the one with flowers as the default picture in hopes that they don’t scroll through the rest. If they do, then they might wonder why he ever swiped right to begin with. A simple boy with cherubic cheeks and whipped cream on his lips… He didn’t seem to fit in with this clique, but that apparently didn’t matter to Joshua and Mingyu who found themselves both admiring the boy. 

Mingyu approves. Wonwoo doesn’t know if he’s always wanted that or if he could have done without knowing it. “He is pretty cute.” He says simply with his trademark smile. Both could be lying to him, but there’s no reason for Mingyu to be. He’s usually straightforward, especially when it comes to dating advice. If Mingyu decreed him as cute, then the boy is cute. There’s nothing Wonwoo can do about it since Mingyu is the professional at finding others whose looks are worth it. Maybe ‘Soonyoung’s’ not a model, but he certainly isn’t ugly. Even Wonwoo could admit that at least. 

He meets Mingyu halfway when he’s returning his phone and although the others are paying attention to them now, they aren’t asking about their exchange. Wonwoo is grateful for Mingyu possessing the type of power that he does because it makes others quiver. All of them know that he would never lash out at them and that he’d actually just let everyone in on the secret if they asked, but still, everyone is nervous around him. Mingyu is at the center of them and everyone loves and fears him in equal amounts. At least everyone that isn’t Joshua, Minghao, and Wonwoo. 

When Mingyu rejoins the group mentally, he gives them a smile. “Done? I have a class to get to, so I was thinking about heading off towards the computer lab so that I can print the reading out.” He’s sliding out of his seat as he says it, not waiting for anyone to say goodbye to him or offer to walk with him. He’s independent by nature now. Wonwoo likes to think that he’s influenced him in the first year that they lived together, but he can’t be entirely sure about that. “I’ll see you later,” he says once he’s gathered both his tray and Joshua’s, then he’s leaving. Everyone feels the loss, but no one makes any sudden move to follow after him. Joshua yawns. To Wonwoo, it feels like it should be more climatic whenever the protagonist leaves. People should flock after him or beg him to stay awhile longer, but no one does. 

“I’m done for the day,” Joshua hums contently, placing his hands on the empty expanse of table in front of him. “I think that morning classes are the best. I have the whole day to myself now.” Wonwoo can’t relate with that sentiment at all. He’d much prefer afternoon or night classes, but he doesn’t argue with Joshua. It would be for naught because everyone has a different opinion on it. He’s sure that Junhui would agree that morning classes are nice to have, but Minghao would argue the benefits of night classes. Wonwoo just couldn’t handle waking up that early to focus on studies. He’d much rather wake up later, because then he could assure himself that he could focus on his studies. It’d give him enough time to rest too. Joshua had went to bed at four in the morning just to get up at seven. That couldn’t be productive for a normal person, but Joshua constantly broke the mold so he wasn’t really surprised that his small, lithe body could be carried on such a small amount of sleep. 

“Me too,” Minghao gets out of his seat with his tray in hand. “I’m going to be heading home. If you walked, then I can give you a ride.” He offers. It has Joshua on his feet instantly. Both say their goodbyes, leaving Junhui, Seungcheol, and Jeonghan with Wonwoo. As much as Wonwoo would  _ love  _ to stay and chat with them, he has to go pretend to be studying for an exam. In reality, he would just go to the library and try to work up the courage to message ‘Soonyoung.’ If he couldn’t, then he would move on and find another match worthy of being his Wednesday night date. 

 

It takes him another full hour to send the message he’s had typed up since he arrived at the library. 

‘Soonyoung’ probably deserves to find interest in a fun-loving person who isn’t scared to approach him, but Wonwoo has steeled his nerves now. He’ll send the message and it will be up to fate and ‘Soonyoung.’ By sending the message, everything will be totally and completely out of his hands. What he doesn’t count on, though, is getting an immediate response from him. 

He opens the app and is greeted by ‘Soonyoung’s’ response. A smile lights up his face unconsciously as he starts to type a response without even thinking too much about it. He doesn’t know how he is supposed to feel about chatting with this stranger on a weird dating app, but there’s a sense of both glee and excitement in his core. Maybe it is only appearing because it has been so long since he’s been sober while talking to anyone new, but Wonwoo is looking forward to furthering this conversation. It is more than likely that ‘Soonyoung’ will end up being a fan of Mingyu’s or will end up finding him uninteresting, but he’s willing to take the risk now that he’s initiated contact with him. It might all fall to shit, but at least Wonwoo made some attempt. Joshua and Mingyu would appreciate that, even if no one else did. 

_ Ridiculous _ , he thinks to himself, closing out of the app. There is no part of him that should feel excited to talk to a stranger. It is uncharacteristic of him too. He’s the lone wolf, constantly keeping to himself and making sure not to bother others with any of his problems. Mingyu is the soft puppy-like boy with the heart of gold.  _ He  _ got overexcited at the prospect of talking to new people. Wonwoo didn’t. So either Mingyu-puppy was rubbing off on him or there was something about this ‘Soonyoung’ that made him feel rather unlike himself. If it happened to be the latter, then he would only be more confused by both his feelings and ‘Soonyoung’ in general. 

He’s not a dating person. Wonwoo’s never been too good at commitment. That’s not to say that he cheats, because he’s wildly against even the thought of cheating. Instead, Wonwoo just doesn’t know how to commit. Wheenver the relationship steps outside the realm of first dates and conversations, he can’t meet the other person. He always needs more time than them or doesn’t want to further the relationship. Most of his partners would put the blame of their breakup on him, but he can’t find fault in himself for wanting to take things slow or finding out that a relationship is not going to work out in the way he first imagined. Maybe he isn’t the fairest when giving relationships a chance, but he knows himself well enough and he doesn’t trust himself to either a.) say the dangerous “l word” or b.) make a relationship official and public. 

Most of the people he’s dated, Mingyu hasn’t even met which to Minghao would be blasphemous.  _ A best friend should know about the person you are dating…  _ Minghao didn’t necessarily believe in those words, but he did consider them true if Mingyu was the best friend. Mingyu probably even knew the addresses of any one night stands that Minghao may or may not have had, but he wouldn’t be able to give the first name of any of the people that Wonwoo had dates with. It was just a fundamental difference in their friendship. Wonwoo couldn’t manage to share that private part of his life with anyone, especially when he hardly even had it as part of his life at all. 

His phone rings, drawing him out of his thoughts. Quickly, he answers it, sliding out of his seat so he can exit the library. The last thing he needs to do is upset students cramming for exams or working on essays. “Hello,” he greets. The personalized ringtone lets him know it is his sister. She set it to her song shortly before her group had made its most recent comeback.  _ Never would have pegged you for a Red Velvet fan _ , a classmate had told him. That classmate clearly missed a significant detail, but Wonwoo didn’t care much. A lot of people make claims that he looks like Seulgi from the famous K-Pop group, Red Velvet, but most didn’t make the connection of why he might look like her. It was as though her being an idol erased the fact that she could have siblings out there in the world. 

“Hey, I got a break in my schedule so I thought I’d check up on you.” She sounds winded. If Wonwoo had to guess, then he’d suppose that she just got out of practice. Being an idol sounded rough from what she shared. Wonwoo didn’t know if he could ever have put in the same hours that she does. Red Velvet’s a big hit though, so she never complains about all the work she has to do. Wonwoo wonders if it ever gets to much for her. He also wonders why she doesn’t go to him when it does. “So… how’s my baby brother?” 

The baby talk gets him. It’s no longer funny, but hearing her voice after so long draws it out of him. He laughs lightly into the receiver and leans back against the building. “I’m holding up fine. My grades are good and I’ve got friends in high places.” She hums thoughtfully. If he knows her well enough, then she’ll be asking about Mingyu soon. Even though they don’t know each other, Wonwoo talks about him enough for her to inquire about him. “How are you though? I haven’t heard from you in…  _ forever _ . At least, that’s what it feels like. How’s the life of a celebrity?” He asks. Someone leaves the library, looking at him curiously before continuing on their way. 

“Good, good. Busy as ever.” She laughs breathlessly. “Just called home, but I guess dad is working. She sounded happy to hear from me… but it was such a short conversation.” That’s how their parents were though. Neither succumbed to their wishes, so both are viewed with discontent. Their parents had expectations and they fell short of those because they pursued what they wanted to. Dependents turned individual. It’s exactly what their parents had hoped to avoid. 

“Don’t mind them,” Wonwoo tries to reassure her. “You saved me for last because you wanted to hear me say that I miss you, didn’t you?” It’s not the friendliest dig, but he knows that it won’t hurt Seulgi. She’s got a tough exterior and an even tougher interior. Wonwoo could joke with her about an endless amount of things, especially about herself. Nothing stuck onto her which made her a great idol since they received enough bad attention. “I do miss you.” He smiles to himself. There’s a slight pang in his chest that he just has to avoid. “But you know I’m proud of you.” 

This is how they have to be. Without parents to support them, they are each other’s support. Wonwoo isn’t the softest, kindest person, but he could always find the words to give to Seulgi. She grows quiet and Wonwoo hopes that she’s not going soft on him. “You jerk, trying to get me to cry.” She says. If she were next to him, then she’d hit him for being like this. “Thank you, though.” Her voice softens. “I’m proud of you too.” 

He fakes a sniffle just so it doesn’t become a real one. Seulgi exclaims loudly and he has to pull the phone away from his ear. “I’m not crying,” he says when she’s done yelling into her receiver. “I think I’ve become emotionally numb to praise.” It’s a strange admittance, but he trusts Seulgi to understand it. She might not think of it as a good thing, but she won’t pry into his life to try to get him to talk about his feelings or lack of them. “But I do appreciate hearing from you. I’ve been obsessing over finding a date for Wednesday.” 

“My brother is searching for a date?” The excitement in her voice is clear as daylight. It makes Wonwoo want to pinch his nose in frustration. He knows better than to share his dating life with her, but she’s always so supportive. It doesn’t matter to her if he’s going for a chubby cheeked blond or a handsome, chiseled brunet. All that she cares about is that Wonwoo hasn’t become emotionally numb to love. He thinks that she worries that he’ll get like that, but he knows himself well enough to know that he’ll always crave love in some fashion. Maybe he won’t always need romantic love, but he’ll need platonic love in his life. “Are there any contenders?” 

For some reason, he doesn’t want to share any information about ‘Soonyoung.’ Mingyu’s opinion is usually the be-all-end-all, but Seulgi’s opinion matters so much more than Mingyu’s ever could. Luckily, he can’t share pictures with her over the phone, so he thinks it is safe to admit that he’s going after a marshmallow of a person. “Well, there’s this dance instructor. His name is Soonyoung and he goes here too. I haven’t had a chance to meet him yet, but I’m working on it.” He visibly blushes because it is easy to assume that he’s met ‘Soonyoung’ over a dating site or app. Maybe she’ll ignore that detail. If she loves him enough, then she will. 

She doesn’t bring it up, but instead sounds confused. “Soonyoung?” There’s a pause and Wonwoo desperately fears that Seulgi knows this person or has even dated him. “A dance instructor? This is… far out and will rock my world, but… you aren’t talking about the new instructor over at Pledis, right? Super young? A threat to all groups out there not under Pledis?” Wonwoo blinks, slightly amazed and proud of ‘Soonyoung.’ If he has that type of reputation, then his social circle would be almost too happy to accept him as one of their own. “Damn, Wonwoo… I didn’t know you wanted a challenge.” There’s a whistle and it takes him a minute to realize it isn’t coming from her. 

Junhui’s standing across the sidewalk from him. “Seulgi?” He mouths. Wonwoo nods, holding up a finger. 

“I had no idea of his reputation.” He says, looking both ways for bicycles before crossing over to where Junhui is standing. “But I have to get going to my next class, so call me later? If you don’t have time again, then just text me whenever.” 

“Okey-dokey, lover boy.” Seulgi answers in a sing-song voice. “Yerim says hello also! I’ll talk to you later.”

“Tell her I hope she’s doing well,” he says in lieu of a goodbye, then hangs up the phone. Junhui stuffs his hands into his pockets as they start walking across campus. “I didn’t know you were going to wait on me today.” 

Junhui shrugs. “You said you’d be studying, so I thought I’d swing by. Usually you go home and I’m not going to walk out there to wait for you. It’s like… an extra mile.” He has a point, so Wonwoo lets it drop and walks alongside him. They don’t speak anymore, but it isn’t an unpleasant walk. Seulgi’s words echo in his head. ‘Soonyoung’s’ decently famous, or at least, he has a very good reputation. Maybe, for once, Wonwoo has made the right decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my twitter is minshuas_  
> look forward to more v soon!!!


	3. (X) Racing Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day's worth of chats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! finally an update! idk why this took so long!!!!!  
> this chap is so img heavy so let me know if anything happens to the imgs
> 
> i really hope you enjoy it!

On Tuesday, it is raining. 

Wonwoo tries to convince himself that he isn’t using that as an excuse for not going to his classes, but there’s no better reason for him to still be at home. His mood hasn’t soured due to the weather, but he has lost all of the little motivation that his body contained. Usually, he begrudgingly forces himself to go to classes, even when he just wants to stay inside, but it is like the closer he gets to the end of the semester, the more he wants to avoid campus. His classes don’t bring him any comfort while he’s in them, especially his non-botany related ones. Those are the ones that he has lost complete interest in already. He’s studying to be a botanist, so the required core classes that he has left seem useless to him. Admittedly, he probably would have fared better if he had taken them in his first years in college. At least that way, he could just spent his final years focusing solely on botany. 

As though he can read minds, Junhui calls him. “I am on my way to yours. I figured that you wouldn’t want to walk through the rain and since you are so close to campus, you don’t need to drive.” He bypasses a greeting so he can assert himself as Wonwoo’s helpful friend. It’s the facade again. Everyone sees right through it, but still they keep it up. If asked, they would both agree to being friends with one another, but their friends might not see their relationship the same way. Usually, Junhui just nags Wonwoo about his educational trek or forces him to be active on campus. If it were anyone else, Wonwoo would be annoyed, but he knows that Junhui understands him and as much as he needs Junhui to force him outside of his house, Junhui needs him to do the same. Both are introverted by heart, although Junhui has learned to love the attention that people tend to give him for his extremely good looks and brilliant mind. That had been their separator because where Junhui had finally clicked with others, Wonwoo was stuck still trying to find a reason to exist outside of his own home. 

Groaning, Wonwoo picks himself off of his bed. It’s noon already, but he hasn’t even bothered getting dressed. Some days, living just felt like a chore to him. If he could be, then he’d much rather be spending time in his own four walls. Not only the ones he has built, but the ones that he has bought too. “I have to get my things together still. I can’t find my laptop cord.” He mutters. It’s a lie that Junhui hopefully won’t see through. He’s getting gradually better at his little white lies, but sometimes he still finds himself being pressed for the truth. In actuality, his bag is the only part of him ready for class. He still has to change his own clothes and comb through his hair. 

“Take your time. Since we are driving it won’t take as long.” Junhui’s voice is reassuring, but he knows that if he takes too much time then he’ll be face-to-face with Junhui’s anger. He doesn’t want to push him so he starts finding clothes to slip into. 

He wears dark blue to match the weather. 

 

Since he’s been forced to go to class, he skips having lunch with Mingyu’s clique. He reasons with himself that it is a fair tradeoff when he knows that it isn’t. Junhui won’t be the one upset that Wonwoo’s headed to the library for lunch instead of sitting at their familiar table, it’ll be Mingyu and Joshua. Disappointing them is habit by now though. If Wonwoo could go a whole week without doing something that made them ponder their friendship, then everyone would figure that aliens had abducted Wonwoo, did some experiments on him, and replaced him with a new and improved Jeon Wonwoo, one that genuinely cared about his own life and the lives of his friends. 

Honestly, he wouldn’t complain if that did end up happening.

It isn’t that he can’t empathize or sympathize with his friends. There is no deeply rooted issue in the makeup or expression of his emotions. Wonwoo’s issue is quite easy to describe and most people can easily understand it. Simply put, he’s depressed. More complexly put, he’s been diagnosed with depression and takes an SSRI just to be able to get through most days. He’s not suicidal and he doesn’t really, truly hate his life like he might announce to the general public whenever anything goes horribly wrong. College is just too much for him. As annoying and selfish as they are, he misses his family. More than his parents though, he misses Seulgi, all the time. He misses the freedom of being able to have a pet. He misses the familiarity of his hometown, of the library that he so frequently would hide out in just so he could be away from his parents. He misses having to do chores on a fixed schedule and eating home cooked meals prepared by Seulgi. He misses birthday parties and simpler times when he could just sit back and watch life happen. Most of all, he misses having other people take care of him when he needs it. He’s alone now and it’s too much for him. 

He supposes this is why Mingyu and Joshua are always willing to make time to  hang out with him. If they don’t know, then they can tell. Neither are idiots, and both pay too much attention to him. They probably see straight through Wonwoo whenever he makes up an excuse for not wanting to spend time together. Whenever he’s alone, Mingyu always checks up on him to make sure that he’s alive and has taken care of himself. If he hasn’t, then Mingyu will cook his meals for him or come over to do his laundry. When they go out to drink, Mingyu always makes him match the amount that he’s having and he never has more than four drinks in a night. Joshua makes sure to always stay sober and be perceptive of the mood. He’s quick to diffuse tension and end the night if it gets to be too much on Wonwoo. If he really thinks about it, then they are always taking care of him, making sure that he doesn’t feel totally alone on campus. Wonwoo appreciates it, he does, but he doesn’t know what to do with that attention. It can’t cure him. In addition to having people there for him, he has to be able to make strides on his own. Plus, it just isn’t the same as what he used to have. They can’t always be there for him like Seulgi could. Neither live with him, so he’s on his own most days and that’s what makes it so hard on him. 

_ I’m seeing someone.  _ He had once told his therapist. She had been immediately interested, asking for him to tell her everything that he could about his significant other, but Wonwoo had lied to her to make her think he might be getting better. It felt good, to see the hopefulness in her eyes as he spun clever tales about dates that never happened, but he had eventually broken down when he couldn’t keep the facade up any longer. Towards the end of it, it just made him feel lonelier to make up a healthy relationship that he didn’t have. After the lie, it became harder for him to seek out any romantic relationships because none could compare to the one he had made up for the months he decided to try to fool his therapist with “ _ marked improvement! _ ” 

_ Maybe everyone is right though _ … Wonwoo doesn’t want to admit that love conquers all, but he knows that having someone to understand him and love him so completely wouldn’t do him any harm. If anything, he’d be happier. It might not cure him, but he’d have even more support. That’s what’ll be hardest for Wonwoo if Soonyoung proves to be interesting. He’ll have to think of Soonyoung unselfishly and he’s not quite sure if he’s ready for that.  _ Can I even handle a relationship?  _ Mingyu and Joshua think so. His therapist had hoped so. His other friends don’t seem unsupportive of it either. Maybe it could help. If anything, it could be a positive step forward. 

“Wonwoo?” He’s drawn out of his thoughts instantly by a strikingly familiar voice. There’s no face he can put it to in his head and that’s somewhat irritating. When he turns, he finds a freshman that he knows Joshua and Jeonghan know from the music department. It takes him only another minute to think of his name,  _ Seungkwan _ . “Are you alright?”

The boy sounds concerned, so Wonwoo shakes out of his stupor completely. “Seungkwan, nice to see you again.” He has no idea when they were introduced to one another, but clearly Seungkwan could recognize him, so maybe they had been in each other’s company more often than just in passing. “I’m fine. Just thinking. I have an exam later in the week that I’m stressing over.” It’s not a necessarily a lie, but he’s far from stressing over his Japanese exam. 

Seungkwan nods, visibly relieved. “You were just gripping your phone so tight… I didn’t know if you were waiting on an important call or... something.” He gestures to Wonwoo’s phone settled between both his hands. A flood of realization nearly drowns Wonwoo as he swiftly unlocks his phone and presses his finger against the familiar app. He needs to check his Tinder messages. It’s a type of desperation that he doesn’t understand because he’s never really experienced it before. He doesn’t even care if Seungkwan is peering curiously over his shoulder because he needs to know if Soonyoung’s responded to him yet. He can’t believe he hasn’t checked before now.

“No, I wasn’t waiting for a call, but you did remind me that I needed to check something,” he answers while he’s navigating the app and waiting for his messages to load. Seungkwan shuffles on his feet, clearly feeling awkward about ending this encounter.  _ He is the one who approached me…  _ Wonwoo thinks bitterly.  _ If he didn’t want to talk to me then he could have just passed by without saying anything.  _ Once again, he fails to notice the best in people. Seungkwan may have genuinely been worried about Wonwoo, but Wonwoo only sees the lingering awkwardness. 

Seungkwan bounces back onto his left foot. “Okay. I’m glad you are alright, then. I’ll see you around.” He lifts a hand to wave, but Wonwoo doesn’t respond with one in kind. If Seungkwan is hurt by that, he doesn’t show it as he gives Wonwoo a brilliant smile before leaving. “Have a good day!” He calls behind him and it irritates Wonwoo to see someone able to be that consistently happy. It is just something he can’t relate to. 

“You too,” he finds himself murmuring before returning his attention to his loaded messages. Soonyoung  _ has  _ responded to him. 

_ Huh _ ?

Wonwoo freezes after reading the message, rereading it for good measure.  _ The same elementary school?  _ He tries to think back to anyone who would have remembered him, but no one comes to mind. So many students in his elementary school had bullied and ridiculed him for being odd and quiet. He had preferred to read, write, and study hard. Plus there had been a couple incidents that caused students to be wary of him, but none of them had been dangerous. Wonwoo was just a curious kid. Apparently a lot more curious than the other elementary schoolers, if their reactions to his anctics were anything to go by. “I don’t understand,” Wonwoo shakes his head, trying to think of  _ anyone  _ he had shared any semblance of friendship with. No names come to mind, definitely not a ‘Soonyoung.’ 

Maybe he is misremembering someone who looked a lot like Wonwoo did. He taps out a response, immediately getting a witty comeback from Soonyoung. “This brat…” Wonwoo can’t even believe that he would tap that out and hit send without cringing. He does learn his full name though, although it still doesn’t draw any memories from elementary school. Still, Wonwoo files it away as precious information that he might end up needing.

They exchange a few more messages before Soonyoung drops the bomb. 

By bomb, Wonwoo means embarrassing childhood story that he wishes would never be repeated, but he knows that for years his fellow classmates will recount this very story because it proves Wonwoo’s oddity. It is probably the main reason that many of his classmates avoided and rejected him. From then on, he was considered an oddity. There had been a couple boys who still tried to reach out to him, but after that incident, he no longer cared about making friends. Maybe Soonyoung had reached out to him and he couldn’t recall him, but if that wasn’t the case, then he had been part of the crowd that mocked him for his curiosity. 

_ Soonyoung…  _

“Oh!” He exhales, startling a student at a nearby table. The girl turns around to glare at him before she resumes her studies. Wonwoo hardly cares though because  _ Soonyoung _ ! He knows why he’s so familiar now. In elementary school, Soonyoung used to be one of the chattier children that occupied the back of the class and got in trouble for not doing his work. He was into sports, but he didn’t grow up to be a jock. Out of all the “popular” kids that the elementary school had to offer, Soonyoung was one of the nicest. Often, he crossed the invisible boundaries made by the other children. He had been someone to laugh and joke with, and he had reached out to Wonwoo on more than one occasion. At one point they had even been seatmates, but that didn’t deter Wonwoo from his loner path. He stood resolute in his ways until high school, then finally broke away from it for good in university. 

It just turns out that Soonyoung has a very interesting story that he can recall too. The only difference between their stories was that Soonyoung’s was just funny. Where Wonwoo’s was a little weird, Soonyoung’s story involved an honest mistake that had other children giggling, not avoiding him. The stories are incredibly different, Wonwoo knows that, but he still can’t believe that his story warranted that type of response. Children did whacky things all of the time… That wasn’t an excuse for other children to shut them out. 

He finishes recounting his own story, sending the message without giving himself time to regret it.

After it is sent, he reads it over and over while waiting for Soonyoung to respond to it. He can hardly remember the story in pictures, but he does remember it as an event that had happened. Their whole class had stopped working because Soonyoung was crying so hard that even the teachers couldn’t pacify him. At the end of it, they had to give him ice cream to make up for the loss of his before he even started to calm down. Wonwoo had been irritated by his outbursts, but worried. It wasn’t until he found out why he was crying that Wonwoo’s irritation had solidified and became real. He thinks while he waits, but this time Soonyoung doesn’t respond to the message right away. Wonwoo doesn’t know what to think about that, but he figures that he has somehow upset Soonyoung with stories from the past. It is a harmless story in Wonwoo’s opinion. Just an innocent mistake made by a child. Honestly, he wouldn’t be surprised if there are countless other stories similar to Soonyoung’s out there. Ice is kept in freezers and it is the same with ice cream, so it is solid child logic to place both in their lunch box and expect for the ice cream to not melt. There had been a time when Wonwoo would have agreed with the logic even though he had never thought of trying to save ice cream for later. 

It seems desperate, but only minutes later he is sending a follow-up message to see if he has upset Soonyoung. 

Wonwoo breathes out a sigh of relief and begins typing a reply. He’s not usually like this. Mingyu can hardly get him to text him back and Joshua has to end up calling him multiple times before he’ll pick up, but he  _ wants  _ to talk to Soonyoung. Especially after finding out that they went to the same elementary school, Wonwoo finds him interesting. There’s a certain playfulness to the boy that Wonwoo’s not accustomed to dealing with. Also he doesn’t remind him of any of his friends, so he’s not spending all of his time trying to compare him to them in a desperate attempt to talk him out of eventually asking Soonyoung out. 

The message has just been sent when someone sits down beside him. Thinking it isn’t anyone he knows, he doesn’t look up until he hears her. “Tinder?” Nayoung asks, leaning forward. “I never thought you’d stoop that low…” The smile she is wearing is sly as she leans back in her seat and opens her laptop. 

“Hello to you too,” Wonwoo feigning bitterness, putting his phone down next to him. As much as he hates conversation with his various friends on campus, he’d always have a few minutes to spare for Nayoung. She’s first and foremost Seungcheol’s friend, but she grew up alongside Jeonghan. Her independent, go-to nature makes her a natural leader on campus and she’s always reaching out to everyone with the utmost care. Out of all the terrible humans there are, Wonwoo thinks that the universe might have done right with Nayoung. She’s snarky and sometimes totally weird, but he enjoyed the rare moments he had with her. “Is it really that unexpected?” He asks with a small laugh.

Nayoung swipes her fingers through her hair as if combing it, then begins to tie it up. “Not really,” she shrugs. “I guess I just expected something classier like Match or ChristianMingle.” All of this she says with a straight face, finishing with her hair and moving on to unlocking her computer. It’s her biggest charm, for tons of reasons. Not many people have the ability to have a poker face that is quite as good and convincing as Nayoung’s. Honestly, without knowing her, Wonwoo would have thought she was seriously expecting him to consider ChristianMingle. 

Both share a laugh over the thought of Wonwoo being found alive on a Christian dating site. It’s proposterous for more than one reason, but Wonwoo leaves that left unsaid. Nayoung shakes her shoulders attractively and leans forward again to give her attention to Wonwoo. “I didn’t really expect to be on Tinder, but I needed to find a date for… tomorrow? I don’t know when exactly, actually. I think it is Wednesday.” Wonwoo should message Joshua about the plans to make sure he got the details right, but he can save that for later. There’s no reason why they would make it on Tuesday when they had just met over the weekend, so he would just go with Wednesday. “Anyway, I need a date because I’m tired of being the third wheel. Plus I promised Joshua that I’d tried to find someone.” Nayoung rolls her eyes, but doesn’t interject until she’s sure that Wonwoo is done sharing. 

“Made a promise to Joshua and now you can’t back out of it.” She pouts. “It  _ blows  _ to disappoint him. He gets all… sad puppy on you, but in a weirdly calm way. Immediately, he’s all ready to forgive you and set new expectations.” Wonwoo thinks that describes his relationship with Joshua’s expectations pretty well. It doesn’t surprise him that Nayoung has similar experience with him. “How is Tinder going though?” 

It is Wonwoo’s turn to shrug now. “Okay, I guess. I have a match.” He gets ready to tell her about Soonyoung, but her frozen expression cuts him off.

She looks like she’s trying hard not to laugh. “Just one match?” She asks lightly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. It is like she’s testing the water by asking him. Her reaction confuses Wonwoo a little, but tries not to let it get to him. 

“Yes, just one match.” It’s a little irritating that she would laugh at him after asking him about it. He doesn’t want to feel humiliated, is trying hard not to let it get to him, but the heat starts to rise in his cheeks. No longer does he want to make time to spend with Nayoung. It’s so silly, he knows, but he can’t stand to feel this way. He usually has control of his emotions, but he’s dropped his guard for Nayoung and for her to take advantage of that makes him feel inferior to her. His feelings are entirely baseless, but he can’t help them.

Immediately, she notices his discomfort and holds out her hands. “No, no! I’m not… I don’t think anything bad of you, Wonwoo. I just… You are so handsome... and intelligent. To only get one match… you must have only liked one person for that to happen.” She explains quickly, looking suddenly erratic. “That’s it. I didn’t mean anything else by it. It was surprising to hear you say that you only got one match. I promise.” 

A sigh slips from Wonwoo’s lips and he leans back against his seat. His cheeks are still burning, but he doesn’t feel as bad anymore. His unexpected feelings are ebbing with Nayoung’s explanation. Still though, he wants to find an exit in the conversation so he can be alone, and so he can respond to Soonyoung. “I didn’t really have an interest in anyone else, so I only liked one person. That’s not terrible, right?” He finds himself asking. It is a moment of weakness in which he hopes that he doesn’t look like an idiot. 

“Not at all. Just… Tinder is for hooking up, usually. It’s rare that people find anything special there. That’s the kind of expectation that Tinder users have, but you are only talking to one person… It’s so monogamous. Joshua would act just like that if he signed up for it. I wonder if he’s influencing you…” She returns her attention to her computer and Wonwoo starts to collect his things after checking the time. It’s not quite three yet and he has nothing to do until five, but he wants to have time to himself after meeting with both Seungkwan and Nayoung. He had escaped to the library to be by himself, but he’s been intercepted by two people now. If he really had to, then he’d walk back to his house in the rain just so he could have some time on his own.

“Maybe he is,” Wonwoo chuckles. It is unlikely that Joshua is having any direct effect on him, but he did think more highly of Joshua’s opinion than of others. “But I have to get going. I’ll see you around, I’m sure.”  _ Don’t stand up and want a hug,  _ he internally warns Nayoung. It is just like her to respond enthusiastically to meeting someone she doesn’t usually get to see, but she doesn’t even move in her seat other than to give him a soft smile.

She nods. “I’m sure we will. Good luck with dating.” 

He ends up in a deserted hallway in the language department. Most of the students usually crowding the halls are either in class or at home by now, so he soaks in the silence and takes his phone back out to check his messages. Soonyoung’s responded to him and it makes him smile. Once again, he feels the heat creep into his cheeks, but it is different this time around. He’s not humiliated, but instead… flustered? It makes no sense to him.  _ I’m smiling at my phone in the middle of an empty hallway.  _ It’s so unlike him. Soonyoung makes him act in ways that are unfamiliar to himself even. He can’t imagine meeting with this boy and having conversations like these. He’ll end up meeting Soonyoung and it will all fall through. Soonyoung will realize that he’s a complete loser and it’ll be the end of all the fun he’s having. It’s the only reality that he can imagine, but still, he hopes that it doesn’t happen like that.

He knows they’ve only been talking for a day, but talking to him makes him a little bit happier.  _ Improvement?  _

__

After replying to Soonyoung, Wonwoo waits. He has nothing else to do for the next couple of hours, but he knows how it looks for him to spend all his time on Tinder. That’s the only reason he pulls out his laptop. The presence of it will make it seem like he’s doing his homework and only checking his phone intermittently, so the reality of his situation will be effectively clouded. It’s highly unlikely that he’ll run into anyone he knows here. The library is heavily populated and sometimes students just pass through it to see if they can catch sight of any of their friends, but the hallways of the departments offer safety. Wonwoo doesn’t think any of his friends should be in the language department in the evening, so if he does run into someone, then he’d be learning something new about them. 

Plus he’s nearest to the rooms that are usually populated with beginners and unless Seungkwan is there, he doubts he’ll know anyone.  _ Soonyoung?  _ His mind reminds him that a certain blond also goes to school here.  _ Does he take language classes? Maybe he’s just started learning a new language… He could walk out of one of these classrooms at any second.  _ Then what would Wonwoo do? It amazes him that he’s never thought about this before. The campus is so big that is unlikely for them to run into each other if they haven’t ever before, but still… It’s a possibility. 

“Idiot,” He tries to calm himself down by patronizing himself. It doesn’t have the desired effect because he still checks all around him to make sure that there really isn’t anyone else in the hallway with him. Then he realizes.  _ He’s at work _ . “Idiot,” he says again, pressing his palm to his forehead. He can feel his body start to calm down in response to the realization that Soonyoung won’t be surprising him anytime soon. It’s also slightly disappointing.

He goes back to chatting with Soonyoung. 

“Neato.” He says it aloud. It sounds awkward on his tongue.

Classes still aren’t out, but he thinks that students will probably be filing out in a couple minutes. There are no bells, but most classes are about ninety minutes on Tuesday. “Neato,” he says it again to the silence. He gets no response. It is hard for him to imagine anyone actually saying the word  _ neato  _ out loud in any type of context. But there’s something about Soonyoung saying it that makes Wonwoo feel oddly hollow in his chest. Usually, he’s good at describing his feelings, but right now… he doesn’t even know how to start to explain it. It isn’t an unpleasant feeling, but it isn’t the friendliest one. Soonyoung does make him feel slightly awkward in his own skin, but he supposes that has a lot to do with Wonwoo not being familiar with dating. The prospect of it scares him, makes him a lot more anxious than he should be. Even the thought of one date is enough to do him in and make him want to return to the warmth of his bed. 

Before he can succumb to that hollow feeling, Wonwoo checks his phone again. 

“Oh my god…” He also says it aloud. 

The hollowness bottoms out into a fluttering. It almost makes him feel sick if he thinks about the feeling for too long. It’s completely unfamiliar to him, but it accompanies the thought that  _ Soonyoung’s cute…  _ and that is enough for everything to click in Wonwoo’s brain. He’s an expert on romantic novels and movies, so he should’ve realized it before this moment. It’s so foolish of him to be acting this way when Soonyoung is just a stranger with unknown expectations. Wonwoo barely knows anything about him, but he’s still left feeling this way while talking to him. 

It’s  _ butterflies _ . Soonyoung makes Wonwoo feel  _ flustered _ . 

With his next reply, he tries to change the course of the conversation. The very last thing that Wonwoo needs is to be having feelings for a stranger. That’s how people got catfished. Soonyoung would have to meet with him before he could get under Wonwoo’s skin. He’d have to prove himself before Wonwoo would feel that sickening flutter again. He  _ needed  _ Soonyoung to meet him before he could have that effect on him. 

_ Huh?  _ With the change in conversation, the confusion returns. Soonyoung doesn’t lie, but it seems like he never just says what he means either. It takes him a minute to stop playing around with his words and just answer whatever question Wonwoo might have about him or the meaning of his words. It isn’t too hard to keep up with Soonyoung, but from his profile, Wonwoo had expected him to be easygoing, not confusing. 

This time however, Soonyoung doesn’t really solve his confusion. He just adds fuel to the fire with the new information he provides about his life. The competent, creative choreographer that Seulgi’s company feared was working at a soup kitchen? It didn’t make any sense for him to be there. Why was he not using his free time to practice? Did he not like dancing? Was it only a job for him? Was he required to also do volunteer work? People could be good people sometimes, Wonwoo supposes, but Soonyoung… Soonyoung couldn’t just come into his life and prove to be better than any of his friends by doing volunteer work  _ and  _ being successful, rich, and cute. He had to have an explanation for why he was doing it. There’s just no way that he’s doing it because he genuinely wants to. Wonwoo doesn’t even know how willing he’d be to sacrifice his time for others. It’s incredibly selfish of him, but he’s just never thought of it before, so the consideration now comes with doubt. He enjoys coveting his time alone.

Maybe his confusion is why he’s acting so incredibly empty-headed now. He wouldn’t be surprised to find whatever interest Soonyoung had had in him is decreasing with every repeated statement. Wonwoo just didn’t know how to accept this information when his head was already trying to paint a picture of Soonyoung as someone who could belong to his friend group easily, with no complications, no extra information to process. 

Slapping sense back into himself as he watches students start to filter out of their classrooms, he decides to make a brave move in the conversation.  _ Just to push it a little…  _ He decides. It’s been so long that he doesn’t know if he’s going to be rushing it or not, but if most people use Tinder to hook up or for flings, then he should be able to take it up a notch without waiting forever like he usually would if he really was planning on courting Soonyoung. 

_ Courting…  _ He really wishes Mingyu could knock some sense into him right now. Or at least just remind him what century he was in. 

_ “Do you want me to flirt with you?”  _

Wonwoo thinks that his heart falls into his stomach and the acid there starts to dissolve it thoroughly. At least, he hopes that is what is happening because he doesn’t want to entertain the thought that he’s actually giddy at the thought of Soonyoung flirting with him.  _ I can’t just say yes.  _ He knows that much, but he wants to. He wants to know what it is like for Soonyoung to flirt with him.  _ Has it been that long that I’m desperate for anything?  _ No, that doesn’t seem to be the case for him. Right now, he’s actually just genuinely interested in Soonyoung. It’s jarring information. 

“Dude…  _ You’re blushing…! _ ” A voice next to him jolts him back to the present. 

He drops his phone abruptly, letting it clatter to the floor. Seungcheol is standing above him, looking at him in amazement. If Wonwoo could, then he’d melt into the floor, but he’s never been that good at dealing with his emotions properly, so he turns into hard edges instead. “Fuck off,” he turns away to collect his phone. “Don’t you have somewhere to be that isn’t here?” When he sits back up, he raises an eyebrow at Seungcheol. 

“Just headed to class. I walk through this building since it is attached.” He explains unnecessarily. “But you… you don’t really need to be here, do you? Is this your super secret hideout?” 

Wonwoo shakes his head.  _ I don’t need to be dealing with this right now _ . “Not anymore.” He says bitterly. Seungcheol can read the mood, so he doesn’t try to stay any longer, and he has a class to get to. He hardly even offers a goodbye as he bounds down the hallway towards the adjoining technology building. It isn’t until he’s completely disappeared from sight that Wonwoo relaxes, and it isn’t until the crowds of students thin that he returns his attention to his phone. 

_ “Why would I want to just be your friend?”  _

That hollow feeling returns as though it had never disappeared. His mouth feels dry.  _ He thinks I’m handsome and witty…  _ Seeing Soonyoung show any interest in him is bizarre. He’s actually surprised by his admission even though it should have been predictable at this point.  _ I mean, he keeps responding to me.  _

Again, Wonwoo changes the flow of the conversation in an attempt to dispel the feeling settling in his stomach.

It takes a different path than Wonwoo wants. It is still very PG of a conversation, but that doesn’t stop his complexion from turning bright crimson. His ears burn at even the thought of ‘feeling.’ Soonyoung is probably serving soup to old people right now and he doesn’t have any clue as to what kind of reaction he’s garnering from Wonwoo. He doubts that the boy even knows that Wonwoo hasn’t been talking to anyone else other than him for nearly two hours now, but he’s not going to cave in and tell him that.  _ That  _ would make him seem desperate and that’s the last thing that he wanted to seem like in Soonyoung’s eyes. 

He wants to remain the smart, witty, handsome guy that Soonyoung thinks he is. so the conversation should be kept light. Soonyoung didn’t need to know how heavy Wonwoo could be, instead, he had to be the man that Soonyoung recognized him as.  _ He’ll be disappointed when we meet…  _ It’s a bitter thought, but it is had in typical Wonwoo fashion. Instead of focusing on his darkened thoughts though, he turns back to the conversation. 

_ So… What?  _ He had nothing to really say. At least, he couldn’t think of anything to say. If his life was more interesting, then maybe he could talk about what he has going on, but he usually spends his time by himself, especially during the weekdays. It helps him do better in school, or at least, it does when he isn’t skipping class. 

_ Great job, Wonwoo _ . He rolls his eyes at himself.  _ This  _ is true Wonwoo fashion. Suddenly, he couldn’t be interesting or think of anything to say. Texting isn’t the easiest activity for him. Plus when he’s talking to people, usually he depends on them to supply the conversation while he just replies and adds his opinions in whenever he sees fit. 

But he’s not entirely unprepared… 

He is going to have to end up owing Joshua and Mingyu for throwing them under the bus like this, but he has nothing to add onto the conversation. It won’t hurt them to move their plans back one day, especially when there isn’t even any reason why they are going to go out on Wednesday. It’s just one of their planned outings where they decide that it is good to leave both their house and the campus. Wonwoo agrees that these outings are probably good for them, but usually Mingyu decides to go to the bar or a club and Wonwoo would rather die than be stuck at either of those places for hours. 

Maybe he’ll regret this, but there’s no backing out now. He won’t let himself.

It is  _ exactly  _ what he plans on doing. But he has one other message to send before he can mess this up for himself.

With Mingyu’s approval, Wonwoo goes through with it. 

Honestly? Wonwoo doesn’t really get it either, at least not in a way that is easily explained to others. He understands his relationship with Joshua and Mingyu from the years they’ve been together. Maybe Soonyoung could come to dinner with them and he would come to understand it too. To be fair to his friends, he is the one who feels like the third wheel. It’s his fault that going out altogether reminds him of how long he’s been off of the dating scene (since Freshman year when he dated two people in the first two months, then another during the summer break). Mingyu and Joshua weren’t inviting him onto dates. They all went out together as friends, but Wonwoo just couldn’t handle the fact that it felt like he was just accompanying them on their dates. 

Having Soonyoung there might relieve some tension from his shoulders,  _ plus  _ he wants to meet Soonyoung. If they keep just talking on Tinder, then he’ll realize how boring Wonwoo is. Well, even if they meet, Wonwoo thinks that Soonyoung will realize how boring he is, but he’ll have more context. Somehow, he had a bunch of friends, so clearly there was something likeable about him. He just couldn’t see it. If they met, then maybe Soonyoung would be able to find that something likeable about him too. 

He isn’t going to back down from this. There’s no talking himself out of it because he’s already made the first step. He would see this through, even if the end result is rejection. He wants to ask Soonyoung out, so he does. He asks him out a day earlier than his original plans because he’s scared that he’ll lose his interest if they keep messaging each other. Maybe this  _ is  _ desperation, but Mingyu is supporting him where he usually would keep him away from hastily rushing into things. 

He says  _ Take your time,  _ but he definitely means,  _ Please message me back right away because if you don’t then I will explode. Have I failed to mention that I am a bomb? A human bomb and in situations like these I have the patience of an untrained animal waiting for a treat. I can handle rejection, please just let me know your answ— _

_ _

Wonwoo is  _ nervous _ . Anticipation is heavy in his veins at the prospect of possibly meeting Soonyoung tonight. He probably seems like a fool right now. With his trembling hands and chapped lips, he could pass off as a strung-out, overstressed student, butit isn’t his classwork that he’s worried about. School is the only place where he knows he can succeed. It is his social life that gives him this kind of anxiety. Nothing else strikes the same type of anxiety deep into his veins. It is only his social life that worries him like this because it is the one thing he feels like he can’t control. 

“Please,” he whispers, watching the screen for Soonyoung’s answer with shaking eyes. 

_ Just give me one chance, Kwon ‘Remembers Everything’ Soonyoung.  _ He’s really not usually like this, but there’s something appealing about making a new friend who knows his childhood and doesn’t judge him for those past actions. The stories that Soonyoung knows are the stories that Mingyu would crinkle his nose at, confused to find out that Wonwoo is secretly a weirdo who kept ants in his desk and preferred reading to recess. If he did remember everything, then Soonyoung would remember his loneliness. Now, Wonwoo is reaching out. It’s belated, and Wonwoo can hardly remember their past, but he’d be willing to try to be friends now. 

He’d be happy to be a third wheel if he just has a friend next to him too, but he can’t help but to recall Soonyoung announcing that friends don’t have to only be friends. It’s a hopeful thought to hold onto to, but it could end up being meaningless. There’s so many different emotions that go into asking Soonyoung out that Wonwoo can’t keep track of them all. All he does know is that he has gone through with it and it all depends on Soonyoung now. Everything that happens after his response is something that Wonwoo will have to deal with later. 

The message pops up and everyone else still keeps moving around him. The world doesn’t slow down. 

“Yeehaw,” he shakes his head. “This brat…” 

The smile on his face is unmistakable, but he tries to ward it off. He can’t be smiling to himself in the middle of a busy hallway. Out of all his actions in the last two days, this is the most unlike him. He couldn’t possibly be  _ happy  _ or  _ excited  _ about a boy saying  _ yeehaw  _ in response to him asking him out on a date. There’s nothing cute about the response and instead, it seems like he’s not taking the proposal seriously, but for some reason, Wonwoo’s head can’t see it like that. It makes him  _ smile.  _

_ Oh god,  _ he can’t believe this is happening. A boy has made him grin like a lovestruck idiot by saying  _ yeehaw.  _

But to be clear, he’s definitely not experiencing any romantic feelings for Soonyoung. It is completely impossible at this point in time because he doesn’t know anything about him. All he does know is that he’s interested in what could come out of this relationship. Soonyoung said that he is looking for both friends and admirers and Wonwoo might just be a person that is comfortable being both. 

Nayoung was right when she commented on how monogamous he seemed even while on Tinder. That’s just the type of person he is. A late night hook-up wouldn’t work with him. He needs for a relationship to start as a friendship or for a relationship to have a balance. He’s comfortable admitting that, but he doesn’t know if having that balance will actually help him learn to trust. Maybe Soonyoung can do the impossible and win Wonwoo over. Wonwoo wouldn’t mind to open himself up for now and try this time around, but he’s still guarded. A boy from his past finding him among hundreds or thousands? It seemed like fate.

Too bad Wonwoo didn’t entertain fate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, they are already going to meet... what's w that huh? do u think wonwoo's trying to move too fast?  
> what do u think their first meeting will be like? will mingyu and josh Love him or Hate him??? 
> 
> also i love nayoung!!!! she's my wife!!!!!! anyways, 
> 
> let me know if the imgs are too big/small/etc i can go back and fix them. no chap will b as img heavy as this one was tho so no worries about that,, uh, otherwise i hope that it was enjoyable!!! i'm excited to write the next chapter bcos it is a scene that i've been planning for awhile,


	4. Me Likey, Me Likey, Likey, Likey (Heart, Heart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dose of anxiety for the important date. Better mark the calendars, folks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those interested, there are two (2) links here! right click them if u can. one's a song and one's an fb edit!

“Shirt’s untucked,” is Mingyu’s helpful advice, thrown across the room from atop Wonwoo’s bed. He’s been lying there since Wonwoo’s let him into it. That had been his first mistake, inviting him in, and his second one had been asking him to make sure he looked nice. Mingyu’s more concerned with the patterns on the ceiling than he is with Wonwoo’s outfit, but he still lifts his head to inform him of any noticeable issues in his appearance. “Also your pants aren’t really black, they are the darkest blue possible. You have some black dress pants, right?” Still, he doesn’t get up from the bed. Wonwoo thinks that he has to be uncomfortable with the position he’s laying in. His knees are at the edge of the bed, so his feet are touching the floor, but the rest of his body is resting on the bed. He’s probably trying to be polite by not tracking any grime from his shoes onto the bed. Usually, he’d have tossed them off, but they are supposed to be leaving within the next five minutes. Except that doesn’t seem to be happening successfully. 

Wonwoo’s impossibly annoyed by Mingyu, but he starts to take his pants off nonetheless. If anyone’s opinion on style mattered, then it was Mingyu’s. “When’s Josh getting here?” He asks, turning his back to Mingyu to shuffle through his closet for dress pants, trying to find black to appease his good friend Mingyu. 

Just as he’s reaching out to take a pair from their hanger, Mingyu at his shoulder, reaching for a pair of pastel yellow ones. “I had no idea that you had  _ these _ , I could have definitely helped you get ready if I knew you had hidden gems in here. Pastel dress pants? You’d look so good in those. It’d totally offset your resting _ — _ ” 

“If you say what I think you are getting ready to say, I will sock you without any regrets,” Wonwoo warns darkly. “I have no idea why I have these because they still have their tags. I don’t ever wear them and I doubt I ever will.” Quickly, he takes his black dress pants off their hanger and ushers Mingyu out of his closet before he can find another ‘gem’ within it. It isn’t that he doesn’t want Mingyu to help him, because that’s why he’s invited him over. The whole issue has to do with the fact that Mingyu enjoys picking out flaws, in everything. Unless it has to do with Joshua, he seems to hyperfixate on the issues of a situation whenever he’s asked for his opinion on it. He’s the voice of honesty and reason, but Wonwoo doesn’t really have any appreciation for him or his opinions even if he’s asked for them. 

Although he has to admit that he’s done a miracle by [fixing his hair up and doing his makeup.](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DN98TwKU8AAKaqO.png) Mingyu knows how to work magic with hair gel and eyeshadow. It probably has to do with the fact that he’s both a model and an actor. Sometimes, it really pays to be one of Mingyu’s closest friends. Like right now. Wonwoo doesn’t know anyone else who would have taken the time to meticulously shape his hair just for one date with a guy he’s met off Tinder. That’s another reason why it pays off too, because he doesn’t cast any judgement on him whereas Junhui definitely would be at this point.  _ Why are you stressing out over some loser you met online?  _ He can hear Junhui saying.  _ Don’t waste your time trying to make the first date good when there probably won’t be a next one.  _ Mingyu doesn’t agree though, or at least, he doesn’t say anything negative about it. In fact, Joshua and Mingyu have been nothing but supportive. Without a second thought, they had moved their plans to tonight for Wonwoo. 

They deserve a lot better of a friend than Wonwoo. 

He had nothing to offer them in response to the love that they showered him in. Their friendship began off-kilter and with time, it’s only gotten worse. Wonwoo has no idea what they get out of being his friend. With Junhui, it is obvious because they both need the same thing from each other, and with Nayoung, she wants to help as much as Wonwoo needs help, but Joshua and Mingyu don’t have any expectations about their friendship. All they seem to want from Wonwoo is friendship itself and that is what makes him feel like he’s wronging them: by being the world’s worst friend. But he has to admit that he’s beyond happy that he is one of their closer friends. 

Tucking in his shirt properly, he turns to face Mingyu, hoping that he finally approves of his appearance. Mingyu glances him over, then appraises him by silently asking him to turn around with a wave of his hand. “Don’t forget your belt, but yeah, that looks good.” He says at last. Wonwoo could jump with joy with his approval, but he just levels his gaze, nodding in muted happiness. 

“Well, let’s go then. Joshua has to be out there by now.” Wonwoo stands up and brushes himself off. There’s no reason for him to be so paranoid about his appearance yet he wants to make sure he looks composed for Soonyoung. As they exist the bedroom, Wonwoo makes sure to grab a belt. 

 

It turns out Joshua is running late. 

Luckily, he’s on his way. Unluckily, Soonyoung has messaged Wonwoo to inform him that he’s already made it to the bar. For Wonwoo, it’d take an extra ten minutes before he arrived with Joshua and Mingyu. “Why did you have to fail me today?” It’s oddly dramatic for Wonwoo to say, but Joshua just smiles as though he had been expecting some semblance of that question. Already, Joshua had explained that there was a minor traffic accident downtown which means it took him longer to get to Wonwoo’s place.  _ It would have been easier if Mingyu had driven over to your place, then you two could have just picked me up.  _ Joshua had said when the annoyance of being late was still plaguing him. Now though, he’s cooled down. No harm has been done, really, especially because Soonyoung has countlessly reassured Wonwoo that he wouldn’t be leaving just because they are running a little late due to traffic. 

“I asked the traffic accident to not happen at that intersection, but it just didn’t have the manners to see itself elsewhere.” Joshua says mockingly, glancing at Wonwoo in the rearview window. “I had no control over disappointing you today. If I had known, then I would have went another way.” 

In response, Wonwoo shrugs. Mingyu shifts in his seat, watching the buildings as they pass by them. During car rides, he’s closer to a dog than a human, Wonwoo thinks. It might be one of the biggest factors in everyone’s belief that Mingyu seems like a canine. Wonwoo knows that he’s hung his head out of a car window before and that he’d do it again. For Mingyu, there is just something calming, but also exciting, about riding in the passenger seat of a car. It’s probably the reason that he usually makes Joshua drive whenever they go out. That would make a lot of sense. 

Without any other issues, they manage to get to the bar in eight minutes instead of ten.

 

_ Bar  _ is the wrong descriptor for this place and Wonwoo wants to murder Mingyu for even suggesting it as one. A bar, while not the best first date location, offers a drunken comfort alongside a cozy atmosphere. This place is a  _ nightclub  _ complete with all the flashing lights and [loud, thumping music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc8ge0TNPfA). “We are in the VIP section upstairs,” Mingyu says, but it doesn’t give  _ any  _ ounce of comfort to Wonwoo. Maybe the VIP section will be more private and the beat will pulse in their heels instead of their chests, but that doesn’t make this place any less of a nightclub. A  _ nightclub _ ! The only location that Wonwoo bans from having dates at. How are people supposed to talk over the music? How are they supposed to see with the lighting? Nightclubs were made for the partiers,  _ not  _ for the people who were trying to hang out with one another in a double date type of fashion. 

“I could murder you right now,” Wonwoo whispers low as Mingyu gives his ID to the bouncer turned host. 

There’s that hand on his shoulder again,  _ Joshua _ , but it doesn’t put him at ease this time. It is because this time is different from all other times. Today is the day that he meets Soonyoung, the boy that he’s been talking with for only two days. His incredibly desperate mind had decided to invite him out, which wasn’t even his first mistake. His first mistake had been thinking that going out with Mingyu and Joshua as well would make it any easier. Instead, Wonwoo is realizing belatedly, it might end up scaring Soonyoung away. 

After the club has ascertained Mingyu’s identity, he turns back to Wonwoo and Joshua. “They took Soonyoung up to our usual booth already. He’s a clever boy. I had just called before I went to your place to let them know about him.” A goofy smile is tugging at his lips, but Wonwoo just feels cold all over. He’s both angry beyond belief and so anxious he can barely stand. It turns out that that isn’t the best combination of feelings because he’s positive that he’s either going to faint or get sick right in front of Soonyoung.  _ Great _ , he thinks.  _ I’ve been off the dating scene for so long my body isn’t prepared for the social anxiety of dealing with it…  _

“That’s nice of them,” Joshua says, reminding Wonwoo that even if this is a nightclub, it still is more upscale than the usual college hangout. Mingyu’s family pours money into local venues, clubs, and bars alongside the other contributions they make, so Mingyu only receives the best care at the best places Seoul has to offer. Whenever Wonwoo went out with him, he tended to forget that he could be at worse places with worse service. So, even if the way that Joshua and Mingyu talk with one another annoy Wonwoo endlessly, he could be taking Soonyoung to some cheap bar on the outskirts of the city. Hanging out with his obnoxious friends is the better decision, even if it seems like it isn’t.

All of them start to head straight into the club, but at the doorway, Wonwoo stops dead in his tracks. “I can’t do this.” He says suddenly. “Something is going to go terribly,  _ terribly  _ wrong.” There’s a voice in the back of his mind warning him that his friends are going to think he’s being dramatic about this.  _ It’s just a date… It’s just a date with someone you’ve met off of Tinder _ , he can already hear the disapproval in their voices. It’s in their expressions, seemingly annoyed by Wonwoo’s sudden panic. To be fair to them, they are probably concerned, but Wonwoo can only notice how they seem stiff and impatient. He wishes that he never had rushed this with Soonyoung. 

Trying to stabilize himself, Wonwoo starts to take deep breaths as his therapist had once instructed him.  _ Sometimes I just freeze up in social situations.  _ He had admitted sheepishly, after recounting his failed attempt at sharing his opinion in front of his classmates.  _ There are times when… everything just shuts down. I want to run away instead of dealing with the situation.  _ In the classroom hadn’t been the first time either. His therapist had given him a sheet of paper, asked him to try different ‘grounding’ techniques until he found one that he didn’t feel foolish doing in public, if his panic got that far. There’s also the pills, but Wonwoo doesn’t like to take them more than once a day. 

“You want to head to the bathroom to give yourself a minute? Or you can stay outside, they’ll let you in when you are ready,” Mingyu says, voice unnecessarily soft.  _ Concern _ , Wonwoo can hear it in his voice and it makes him feel like a terrible friend for entertaining the thought that he would be annoyed by something Wonwoo has little control over. “Josh can hang back with you too.” He adds when Wonwoo doesn’t answer him right away. 

He takes a couple more breaths, trying to ignore the presence of everyone outside of the club. It isn’t hard to do, but he feels bad about turning Mingyu to static for the moment. Only after pushing out a breath he’s been holding for about thirty seconds does he give his attention back to them. “I’m fine.” There’s a strength in his voice now, but his legs still shake when he takes a step forward to show them his hesitancy is gone. Mingyu raises an eyebrow, still skeptical about if he’s actually going through with this, but Joshua turns to continue on their trek to the upper level. There’s an extra ounce of trust in Joshua because he understands Wonwoo on a fundamental level. Mingyu, however, tries to delve into the deepest parts of Wonwoo to predict his future actions. He’s oddly analytical, but Wonwoo blames that on the businessman side of him. He’s not granted the same privilege of trusting others that Joshua is because he’s used to being used by others if he’s that blindly trusting. So, it isn’t until Wonwoo is following Joshua up the stairs that Mingyu relaxes, trailing behind them. 

It traps Wonwoo in, but he tries not to think about it that way.

 

There’s no one waiting at their regular booth. 

The surge of panic that Wonwoo feels at the thought of being stood up is strong, but not overpowering. He’s able to calm himself down quickly, so when Mingyu’s gaze searches his expression, he already has it frozen into the familiar expressionless mask he typically wears when they all go out together. The one that says he’d rather be anywhere else. Joshua doesn’t seem perturbed by Soonyoung’s absence though as he ignores the silent exchange between his friends and signals a nearby waitress over. “There was a boy here,” he shouts over the music and she nods for him to continue because he’s clearly not just pointing out the obvious. “Do you know where he went?” 

“Just got up,” her voice is strained, but quiet. Wonwoo strains to hear it from a couple steps away. “I figured he was leaving, but he didn’t leave a tip or close his tab.” The hollowness in his stomach reaches up to consume his chest too. He’s so bitter over trusting such a stupid app. Nayoung’s words from earlier linger in his ears:  _ Just… Tinder is for hooking up, usually. It’s rare that people find anything special there.  _ How  _ stupid  _ was it for Wonwoo to think that Soonyoung would be an exception? A boy looking for “friends or admirers,” but willing to be both? Wonwoo had been kidding himself to think that Soonyoung wasn’t looking for a hookup. The difference simply had been that Soonyoung had a conscience so he couldn’t just admit to that and reject Wonwoo’s hastily made plans. He had surprised him so much that he couldn’t find a way out of the date.

Wonwoo opens his mouth, but it isn’t his voice saying the words he’s thinking. “I’m such an idiot.” 

No, the voice saying those words is higher than his own, but there’s a manliness to it that Wonwoo finds hard to describe. It almost sounds enthusiastic and gravely at the same time. He has nothing he can compare it to although if he were better versed in films, then he might have a comparison to make. The voice sounds like it belongs to someone with a strong personality: someone who could take charge if they needed to. It doesn’t sound like it belongs to the blonde behind him, especially because the blonde behind him is engulfed in a giant red sweater with white lettering spelling out ‘YOUR STAR’ in English. His lanky build is similar to Wonwoo’s, but Wonwoo knows that the blonde has stronger muscles. Also, his skinny jeans definitely show just how defined just his thigh muscles are, but Wonwoo isn’t looking. At least, he’s trying not to look. It doesn’t matter that he’s completely failing at it. 

There’s a beer glass in Soonyoung’s hand. The foam is sliding down the side of the glass lazily, almost touching the sleeves of his sweater. Wonwoo moves before his mind can tell him a bad idea. In a flash, the glass is in Wonwoo’s hands and his friends are staring at him like he’s the stranger, not Soonyoung. In Soonyoung’s gaze, there’s a hint of mirth. “I went to check out the bar,” he says, smiling, and the corners of his eyes immediately crinkle. Wonwoo has to bite the inside of his cheek so he doesn’t smile in response.  _ This is Soonyoung.  _ He purses his lips, taking his time to notice how his cheeks are chubby, but the rest of his body doesn’t match them. His face looks so soft that Wonwoo could smush it between both of his hands. He bets that Soonyoung wouldn’t lose an ounce of his cuteness if he did it either. Kwon Soonyoung looks exactly like he did in his Tinder profile. He’s not being catfished.

“I think Wonwoo just checked out,” Wonwoo is vaguely aware of Joshua saying. 

Mingyu and Soonyoung both laugh. It is bright and high. He could get drunk off of the sound alone. “Yeah, checked Soonyoung out,” Mingyu replies, knocking his shoulder into Joshua’s. In response, Joshua smiles kindly at him, but he’s respectful enough to not laugh at the joke. It is the type of joke that would have Wonwoo’s skin crawling in discomfort. Mingyu usually doesn’t make jokes at his expense, but this is new territory.  _ He’s teasing me,  _ Wonwoo figures that out easily, especially because since Soonyoung’s approached them, he’s been left breathless. 

_ What the fuck.  _ It isn’t possible for him to fall in love at first sight. Fate doesn’t exist, so clearly love at first sight is also a hoax. Maybe Junhui or Joshua would argue about the existence of aliens, but Wonwoo is rational. Falling in love upon first seeing a person is preposterous because no one can love someone they don’t know. Love is time-consuming and needs to function off trust. People who believe in falling in love immediately after meeting someone are simply infatuated with the feeling of falling into a fantasy. Wonwoo would never be that type of person. At the end of the day, he wants something real, even if it isn’t novel worthy. His love story would probably never be written, but he didn’t want his life to be made up of fiction anyway. So, in conclusion, this isn’t love at first sight. Instead, it is something a lot more innocent: interest at first sight. 

“Hi,” Soonyoung whispers, waving one of his hands in front of Wonwoo’s face. 

Beside him, he can hear Mingyu and Joshua sliding into the booth and asking the waitress to bring them drinks. It’s a semi-privacy that they can offer them for the moment. Wonwoo appreciates it. “Hi,” he breathes out finally and already he feels breathless again. He’s definitely expelling more oxygen than he’s taking in. 

Soonyoung’s hand falls back to his side. All of this feels anticlimactic, but at the same time, important. “I’m Kwon ‘Remembers Everything’ Soonyoung.” He grins up at him, which makes Wonwoo realize that he is a couple inches shorter. It has to be only about two inches, but  _ still _ . It isn’t everyday that Wonwoo is taller than his company, especially when he’s usually with Mingyu who happens to be a tree. “It’s nice to meet you, Wonwoo.” His energy radiates off of him. There’s no trace of unhappiness that Wonwoo can catch onto to start unraveling him. For some reason, that makes his heart pick up speed until it feels like it is galloping wildly around his chest cavity. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Wonwoo starts to bow. Is that what he should do on a date? Soonyoung seems momentarily surprised by the action, eyes widening and mouth dropping open. Embarrassment colors Wonwoo’s cheeks as he sweeps his arms out to direct Soonyoung into the booth. Awkwardly, he nods his head, still with a smile, and slips into the booth next to, thankfully, Joshua. Wonwoo slides in after him. “This is Joshua,” he introduces, Joshua inclines his head slightly and smiles, “And this is Mingyu.” Mingyu reaches his hand over to shake Soonyoung’s hand.  _ Business-like as always _ , Wonwoo remembers the boy that had bowed at a ninety degree angle when he had showed up in his doorway to move his stuff in. He’s come a long way since then. 

They move their arms stiffly and share almost identical smiles, except Soonyoung’s cheeks are  _ so soft.  _ They rise and his eyes turn into crescents. “Very nice to meet you. I’m a bit of a fan,” Mingyu says, almost shyly. When Wonwoo looks over at him, it becomes apparent that he’s only acting. There’s no real sincerity in his expression, but he doubts that Soonyoung pushes him to make sure that he’s telling the truth. A fan is a fan, fake or not. He’s been around Mingyu long enough to know that much about the popularity game. The only difference between Mingyu and an actual fake fan though is that Mingyu’s done his research for tonight. It is something that he does whenever he is getting ready to meet someone new, as long as they have information that he is privy to: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, nothing is ever really safe from Mingyu as he has it all and knows how to navigate through it like a pro.

Being a fan of Soonyoung’s is definitely a compliment though because it has his grin widening, as though that’s possible. “Thank you!” They drop each other’s hands and Soonyoung finally takes his beer glass back into his possession. Without anything to hold onto, Wonwoo’s hands feel useless, so he places them on his lap. That way if he’s trembling, then Soonyoung wouldn’t be able to tell, at least. 

Joshua leans forward, “Sorry that Wonwoo didn’t tell you exactly where we were going until last minute. I know the dress code for this place is a little… looser than some places, but that doesn’t mean that you want to stand out.” 

Beside him, Soonyoung shakes his head wildly. “Oh, no! It’s fine. I like to dress like this…! I don’t have many dress shirts or jackets, so sweaters are my go-to.” He purses his lips and it drives Wonwoo absolutely  _ wild  _ because everything he does is just  _ so damn cute _ . It’s interesting to watch him, but he knows better than being caught lest he wants to be thought of as creepy, so he makes sure to return his gaze to the table, to Mingyu and Joshua, to his lap. 

“I think you look nice,” Mingyu offers softly.  _ Nice _ . There’s a hidden message in Mingyu’s compliment, but Wonwoo won’t point it out. Joshua gives him a reprimanding look, so he ends the compliment there. If given the chance, then Mingyu would pick Soonyoung apart for his fashion choices. He’s not rude, so he doesn’t immediately go for the attack, but Wonwoo knows that all he would need is for Soonyoung to be trapped there. When Wonwoo had met Mingyu and Joshua, he had still been trying to figure out his own sense of style, but now he is almost professional in his opinion. Effectively, Joshua’s shut him down with one look. Even Soonyoung can tell that he’s been silenced, or at least, Wonwoo thinks that is why he looks so confused. 

Trying to be sneaky in the presence of two others, Wonwoo leans back until his mouth is directly behind Soonyoung’s ear. Now that he is this close to him, he can smell the cologne that he’s wearing. It’s not particularly musky or overbearing which surprises Wonwoo. It almost seems feminine,  _ like strawberries?  _ It’s a smell that Wonwoo can’t pinpoint, but he thinks it smells good nonetheless. Also from here, Wonwoo notices how Soonyoung tenses.  _ What does that mean?  _ Wonwoo’s mind spins momentarily. It makes him feel vaguely dizzy. “He’s a bit of a fashionista,” he whispers low so only Soonyoung can hear. Joshua raises an eyebrow at them, but doesn’t question it. Honestly, he probably knows exactly what Wonwoo’s saying to him. “He’d talk about fashion all day if we let him, and not all of it would be as nice as he seems.” Just thinking about the first time they had met Minghao causes Wonwoo to chuckle. Soonyoung stifles his own into the back of his hand as Wonwoo leans back into his seat. 

Minghao had been Mingyu’s friend though, so for him to insult his clothing choices in front of Wonwoo and Joshua didn’t affect them. By the end of Mingyu’s rant, Minghao had been angrier than Wonwoo had ever seen him, but no feelings had been seriously hurt. With Soonyoung, things could end on a different note. None of them knew Soonyoung well enough to know how he would handle an insult to any of his fashion decisions, especially when he had just admitted to enjoy dressing the way he does. Wonwoo could feel the judgement in Mingyu’s gaze,  _ I thought he had a good reputation, high popularity.  _ It has no bearing on whether or not Mingyu will end up liking Soonyoung, but it does have him question his integrity. But that could just be Wonwoo seeing the worst in people yet again. It wouldn’t surprise him either way.

The drinks arrive, but for the first time, Wonwoo doesn’t really want to drink. Soonyoung’s presence is intoxicating itself. He suspects that that feeling is a result of the anxiety that Soonyoung causes to rise up in his chest, but he doesn’t want to explore it and have it swallow him. If he could turn his thoughts off, then the night would go a lot better. Instead, he tries to focus on his friends rather the boy next to him. They are predictable: Joshua running his hands across his already sweating glass of water; Mingyu already tipping his pomegranite martini back as though he’s been starved of drink for years. It’s not the best sign, but it is still early in the night. Mingyu could just be feeling similar anxiety, especially because he can’t freely speak his mind as he can with solely Wonwoo and Joshua. 

_ It shouldn’t kill him to just… be nice for a couple of hours _ . Wonwoo rolls his eyes, then examines his own beer with disdain. “Do you want to try mine?” Soonyoung pushes his glass towards him. Mingyu and Joshua pretend to be preoccupied with each other, which will only lead them to really being preoccupied with each other. “You didn’t have to order beer if that’s not what you usually get. I just don’t like to drink heavily on dates.” He admits easily, giving a sweeping gesture towards his drink. Hesitantly, Wonwoo takes the cold glass into his sweaty palms. 

The taste is bittersweet. He makes a disgusted face that doesn’t go unnoticed by anyone. Specifically, Soonyoung makes time slow down for Wonwoo as he starts laughing, gripping at his sides in a desperate attempt to hold himself together. “It’s fine,” he manages, pushing the drink back to Soonyoung. It’s something about the taste of beer and how it seems to just foam atop his stomach that makes it so unappealing for Wonwoo, but he doesn’t mind that Soonyoung likes it. To each their own. Quickly, he reaches over to steal a drink from Joshua’s water to try to rinse the lingering taste from his mouth. 

“It’s fine?” Soonyoung only laughs harder. It elicits soft laughter from Joshua and Mingyu as well. “You don’t have to  _ lie _ , Wonwoo. It’s  _ beer _ .” One of his hands uncurls from his side to swat at Wonwoo’s shoulder gently. “It’s fine,” he mocks, lowering his voice for the full effect. It doesn’t make Wonwoo upset though, instead he finds himself falling into laughter alongside everyone else. For some reason, it is easier to laugh at himself right now. Maybe Soonyoung had slipped something into his drink and he is all fucked up now, or maybe he’s just not in the mood to hate himself as completely as usual. He can tell that Joshua is surprised to hear his laughter, but he doesn’t say anything, probably trying to hold onto this happiness for as long as he could. 

“You’re weird,” Wonwoo watches in mild amusement as Soonyoung wipes away moisture from the corner of his eyes. His eyes that Wonwoo just now notices are coated in a thin layer of black eyeliner that is slightly smudged in the corner. If Wonwoo leans closer, then he can also see the light pink eyeshadow dusted on his eyelids. It’s ridiculously attractive, so much so that it has Wonwoo’s heart jumping into his throat. Luckily, it chokes down the compliment that Wonwoo almost pays him in front of his friends. Soonyoung makes him feel like he’s sitting on the edge of his seat, about to be pulled out of it. All of his words climb onto the tip of his tongue. His nerves are lit up like a circuit board. His whole entire body doesn’t know how to interact with Soonyoung’s mere presence. He doesn’t even know how much power he holds, how much he fucks with him already. 

“If I’m weird, what does that make you?” Wonwoo asks, swallowing back any emotion that might think it has the rights to come up right now.  _ It’s the first date,  _ he tries to tell his heart, but it beats just as hard as it had when he had first seen Soonyoung.  _ He’s a stranger,  _ it’s a desperate attempt to stop words from clawing up his throat, but his mouth still feels dry. Soonyoung shakes his head in response to Wonwoo, then he shrugs. “Thought so.” He smirks, turning back to slide his finger against the rim of his glass. 

As expected, Mingyu and Joshua quickly slip into the familiarity of their hangouts. In no time, Joshua is in the crook of Mingyu’s neck, nuzzling up close to him. Mingyu presses his lips against Joshua’s head, crowning him in love. Soonyoung doesn’t pay them any mind at first, instead he spends his time checking his phone (which has the cutest pikachu keychain hanging off of it) and tending to his drink. If he’s uncomfortable, then Wonwoo can’t tell. 

Before he can ask though, his phone vibrates in his lap. Quickly, he fishes it out of his pocket. It has to be Junhui because everyone else that he texts is sitting alongside him right now. It is rare for Junhui to go out of his way to text him after school hours. They aren’t the type of friends who go to each other for advice or invitations for hanging out. They both have other friends to fulfill those needs. When he has his phone unlocked, he’s surprised to find it is a Tinder notification, but he doesn’t just shrug it off as a normal  _ please use our app  _ notification. Which ends up being the right decision because there are messages from Soonyoung. He looks over at the boy, but he doesn’t look up at Wonwoo, instead he just keeps focusing on his phone. Still, Wonwoo doesn’t miss the grin on his face.

When he looks over at him again, there’s no smile on his face. Actually, he looks surprising impassive. Wonwoo’s quick to type out a response. 

This time, Soonyoung’s ears are bright red and he’s the one stealing glances at Wonwoo. There seems to be an air of embarrassment around him, but Wonwoo doesn’t understand why.  _ Maybe he’s messaging someone else too?  _ Wonwoo has no idea how he would have been the source of his embarrassment because his message had only asked him if he’d like to leave the nightclub. As if sensing the shift in mood, Joshua looks over curiously at the two. 

Wonwoo doesn’t meet his gaze, instead he goes to check Soonyoung’s response, ignoring Joshua.

“Wonwoo,” Joshua is leaning over the table to capture his attention. The sudden movement causes Soonyoung to jump in his seat, watching the exchange with slight interest. It is the only thing that steals his attention away from his phone. “Are you okay?” He wants to scream as Joshua places the back of hand against his forehead.  _ I’m visibly blushing through the layer of foundation that Mingyu put on me… No way.  _ It’s all for naught. Nothing really matters anymore because Mingyu is going to give him one look and just understand. He’s the one who sees right through him. 

Curtly, Wonwoo nods. “I’m fine. I think it is just hot in here.” And luckily for him, it is hot. That’s the perk of being in a nightclub while blushing violently. But beside him, Soonyoung snorts. If anyone would pay any attention to him, then they’d notice that he’s just as red, but somehow he is staying more composed, so no one is throwing a fit over him. “Really,” he tries to reassure Joshua, but still he touches his other hand to Wonwoo’s forehead. 

Once he verifies that Wonwoo isn’t burning up due to a fever, he goes back to Mingyu’s side. It takes all the control that Wonwoo can muster in his body for him to avoid Mingyu’s gaze. He knows what he’ll find there, so he doesn’t have to even spare him a look. But still, there’s something infuriatingly magnetizing about Mingyu. With the assistance of his phone, though, he wins out against his urges. 

The smile returns to Soonyoung’s face, but he still doesn’t direct it towards Wonwoo.

It sounds nice for them to be able to get away from Mingyu and Joshua for a little bit. That way tonight has a chance to feel more like a date and less like an awkward first meeting over drinks. He’s thankful that he wrongly informed Soonyoung about the night’s plans because it seems to be working in his favor. Before confirming the plans with him, Wonwoo looks up to make sure that Joshua and Mingyu are still lost in their own world. Just as he does, Mingyu presses a kiss against Joshua’s lips, and _yeah, they are still being disgusting._

__

Soonyoung’s response comes quickly, but he’s still tapping on his screen, so Wonwoo holds out for another minute before announcing their departure, waiting to see if Soonyoung is going to say anything else to him. 

He does, he is able to confirm, as his phone vibrates again.

_His friend is going to pick him up?_ Wonwoo doesn’t feel hurt by it, but he wishes that Soonyoung had known that he would have given him a ride home if he needed one. Plus when people usually went out drinking, it is only polite to either buy a taxi for them or give them a ride back to their place once the night is over. He tries not to think about it too much. They are pretty much strangers meeting for the first time regardless of their past elementary school memories. He had to keep that in mind. 

If he disliked himself, then he’d try to find out what time Soonyoung had informed his friend to pick him up at. It’d be an indicator of how he predicted this night would go, or his comfort level with the date. Well, unless his friend is anything like Mingyu or Joshua, then the time would be an indicator of how strict his parental friends were towards possible future significant others. It didn’t matter what it is an indicator of though because Wonwoo isn’t going to be asking any time soon. He doesn’t really need to know how highly or lowly Soonyoung, or his friend, thought of him.

Regardless of him not asking, he finds out what it is an indicator of: his parental, protective friend.  _ Great. _ .. That's exactly what Wonwoo needs to deal with... another protective friend.

This time, before he responds, he goes back to glancing at Wonwoo. Except this time is different because his gaze lingers on him until Wonwoo’s meets his. It seems like he’s turning something over in his head, trying to decide whether to say it. Then, he makes his decision and begins typing away again. It makes Wonwoo feel nervous.

It’s Wonwoo’s turn to stare at Soonyoung. When he looks over at him, Soonyoung is pursing his lips, trying to hold in a smile and it makes Wonwoo feel a little less insulted. The silent conversation between them doesn’t last for long. A simple shrug from Soonyoung has Wonwoo’s attention returning to his phone as he replies to him. 

As soon as he reads the message, he’s typing again. It seems erratic almost: the way his fingers just hit against his screen as though he’s trying to get his point across as clearly as possible. Once it has been sent, Soonyoung locks his phone, slipping it back into his pocket as he leans back in his seat. His gaze doesn’t even waver from his glass as Wonwoo goes to check his own phone, smiling down at it. 

There’s no reply needed, Wonwoo simply presses his thumb against the little heart next to it, relishing in the way lights up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seollenda me likey, me likey, likey, likey  
> dugeundugeundugeun Heart heart ❤
> 
> why yes, i do have a soundtrack for this fic. look for my links in future chapters! also i can share some w you on twitter!  
> i'm @minshuas_ and my dms + cc is always open for questions/comments/predictions/suggestions!
> 
> so, they've met and it isn't too bad, but it isn't fireworks worthy either. are we going to slow burn this out here? or is the change of location going to assist in them opening up to one another? seems like wonwoo's smitten already... at least a little bit. a smidge. i mean... who couldn't love soonyoung at least a little bit... he's the way he is. 
> 
> (btw joshua totally knows that they were messaging each other... like Come On boys...) 
> 
> srry this chap was a little slower. and i had to end it there bcos if i didn't then i would have had a super super long chapter. i hope you enjoyed!!!! pls let me know if you'd like to see more of something or if you are interested in more edits. social media is supposed to be rlly important in this fic tbh... Also Who is that friend? the world might see straight through me.


	5. What Was It Then If It Feels the Same Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> srry for taking a little bit! i hope u enjoy!!!!!   
> there is one (1) link this update

With Soonyoung’s giggling urging him on, Wonwoo slips out of the booth. Both opt for ignoring Mingyu and Joshua as they rush towards the staircase that will carry them down to the front door. “Toddles!” Soonyoung tosses behind him drunkenly, but Wonwoo knows that he can’t be more than borderline tipsy. Although he challenges that belief when he misses three steps and topples straight into Wonwoo’s shoulder, threatening to knock him down the entire flight of stairs. Wonwoo is in the process of turning around to check on him when he presses both of his hands to the small of Wonwoo’s back and pushes him towards the door. 

They fly past the hostesses and bouncers until the night sky swallows them. ‘YOUR STAR’ is what Soonyoung’s shirt says and from the shitty light of a nearby lamppost, he glows as though he is one. Wonwoo watches him, awestruck, as he tries to catch his breath in the midst of dissolving into laughter. “Did you see Joshua’s face?” He goes from crouching with his hands on his knees to looking up at Wonwoo with the widest gaze. Wonwoo turns from awestruck into borderline reverential in the span of  _ seconds _ . The light haloes Soonyoung from behind, throwing his shadow out until it is stretching across the sidewalk, melding into the darkness. The corner of his lips are pulled up in a way that pushes his cheeks impossibly high and he’s completely flushed. Laughter falls out from his mouth like music and Wonwoo just stops breathing. It happens quite simply because he just forgets how to. “He,” Soonyoung inhales sharply, then exhales. If he hadn’t fallen down the stairs, then he’d be much more composed, especially since he’s a dancer. “He looked so confused and lost,” he’s shaking with laughter again.

The sound itself is contagious, but he can’t stop staring at Soonyoung long enough to catch it. It feels like time has stopped, but solely for him. Soonyoung, and the whole rest of the world, are moving at normal speed still, but he’s buffering, unable to catch up with them. It even takes him awhile to find his voice. When he does, it comes out softer than usual. “And you said…” In his own ears, he sounds far away. It all makes no sense.

Soonyoung doesn’t seem to notice how Wonwoo’s whole world is being turned upside down right before him. Laughter still falls from his lips as he places a hand on Wonwoo’s shoulder, the other clutching his side. “Toddles!” He now leans against Wonwoo as he tries, unsuccessfully, to compose himself. He’s lost to the hilarity of the previous situation. “They were so  _ gross,  _ Wonwoo! You really are invited on their dates, you know that?” 

From against his shoulder, Soonyoung rolls his head up to gaze up at Wonwoo, clearly expecting an answer. He’s no longer doubled over in laughter, but there’s still mirth lingering in his eyes. “I told you that you’d understand.” It is hard for him to look down at Soonyoung when there’s so much expectancy in his eyes. They glisten with a type of happiness that Wonwoo hasn’t seen this up close in years. “They say that we will hang out and drink or eat, but they… really don’t know how to keep their hands off of each other.” As he continues to speak, he thaws out and time begins to properly catch up to him. But there’s still an uncomfortable tingling in his fingertips that makes him think he might be having a heart attack. In fact, the tingling feels the most intense when Soonyoung is this close to him, looking up at him as though he’s entertaining and interesting: as though his words matter to him. 

“They lasted a good… ten minutes, I’ll give them that.” Soonyoung smiles up at him, finally moving away. “I do like them though. Joshua is really nice and Mingyu’s… he’s a whole character. I don’t even know what to expect from him next.” There’s a fondness in his voice that makes Wonwoo feel proud of his friends. His past worries of how they would interact with Soonyoung are swept aside because regardless of how he thought the night was going, Soonyoung has just put his mind at ease by reassuring him that he actually liked Mingyu and Joshua. To be honest with himself, Wonwoo wouldn’t know what to do if Soonyoung had ended up disliking them. By now, he considers them a more permanent part of his life. Meeting them is probably the equivalent of meeting someone’s parents, even though he didn’t consider his relationship with them anything like a parental bond. It’s just that Mingyu and Joshua happen to be the two people that Wonwoo trusts the most in the world, after Seulgi at least. 

Easily, they fall into step with one another. Wonwoo doesn’t know if they’ll be able to find a food truck now that it has gotten so dark outside, so he keeps his eyes out for convience stores that they can stop into and grab ramen in, just in case. A comfortable silence envelopes them as they spend their time looking around. Wonwoo knows this area well, but it has been awhile since he’s woven around it in the night. The whole city of Seoul is different during the nighttime, but the same could be said for any city. It’s just that whenever the sun goes down and he’s on these streets, an excitement thrums in his veins. Maybe it is the alcohol sitting in his veins or maybe it is Soonyoung’s effect on him, but he feels more alive tonight than he ever has before. 

Beside him, Soonyoung’s cheeks are flushed. Wonwoo knows that he has to blame it on the wind that bites against their skin for it, but he wishes that he was the cause of that warmth. For him, he knows that Soonyoung is the cause of his. “I’d  _ kill  _ for some fries,” Soonyoung says suddenly, still looking lost in a world of bliss. It makes no sense to Wonwoo. Being so happy would tire him out, but all he’s seen in this boy is a complex maze of happiness. “It’s about time for all the food trucks to go into hiding, wherever they go when the sun goes down, so we’re going to have to hustle if we wanna get my some kimichi fries,” he glances up at Wonwoo and smiles. There’s no real expectancy in his gaze, so Wonwoo knows that he isn’t trying to get Soonyoung to bend to his wishes, but there’s a desire swirling around somewhere in his chest that wants to make sure he doesn’t let him down tonight. 

“Let’s find you some fries then,” he finds himself saying even though he knows he shouldn’t be making any promises. His fingers close around Soonyoung’s wrist and they start running out across the city. 

 

They make it three blocks before they double over in mild exhaustion. Wonwoo isn’t used to any type of physical activity that isn’t the occasional yoga class with Joshua and Junhui or walking for miles by himself. He’s used to the more relaxing types of physical activity rather than what would make his muscles and bones scream. Heavier weight lifting had never been an option for him because he often forgot how to breathe with the bar so close to his chest and he lagged too far behind his friends when they ran. Soonyoung doesn’t even appear winded this time around, quickly catching his breath and looking around desperately for any sign of a lingering food truck. 

“I’d give them all the money in my pockets,” Soonyoung whines, turning around to regard all the cars on the opposite side of the lot. “An entire ten thousand won.” Wonwoo thinks that he spies the familiar window of the food trucks he often sees around the city, but he can’t be sure without getting closer. He does hear the purr of an engine nearby, so he thinks that his luck hasn’t run out yet. This must be a sign, telling him to hold onto Soonyoung. He doesn’t believe in fate or the universe sending him ‘signs,’ but when he sees the food truck, he knows it is too good to be true. Except this time it isn’t, Soonyoung spots it too and his entire face lights up. Then, once again, he’s running. 

It only takes Wonwoo a short time in a quick jog to catch up to Soonyoung at the window of the food truck. He’s already ordering, taking advantage of the fact that he’s still working even though most of the other food trucks nearby have probably already shut down their kitchens. “What about you?” Soonyoung says after he’s finished ordering his kimichi fries.  _ Now  _ there’s expectation in his eyes, it is glistening there. Wonwoo doesn’t know if it has to do with the fear of eating alone or if he just wants to experience this happiness with someone else, but suddenly he’s expectant. In usual Wonwoo fashion, he doesn’t know what to order. If he was with Mingyu or Joshua, then he wouldn’t be ordering anything unless he had had too much to drink. It’s not unusual for Wonwoo to avoid meals. In fact, it is a habit that he’s developed through the years he’s been in college. When he’s hungry, he eats, but after around five in the afternoon, his appetite disappears entirely. His therapist thinks it is a habit of his depression, but Wonwoo is pretty sure that he just doesn’t want to eat so late into the afternoon. 

“Surprise me,” he answers Soonyoung. Quite possibly, it is the wrong way to answer his question, but he doesn’t mean anything by it. If Soonyoung orders for him, then he’ll be sure to enjoy his meal, but he knows that Soonyoung might not know his tastes very well and could end up worrying about his surprise order.  _ What if I get the wrong thing? What if he is allergic to something in it?  _ Wonwoo can’t predict him yet, but he’s sure that any person would be thinking something along those lines, especially when pressure has been put on them. Both have to remember that this is a date. Their first time meeting. “Just forgo the seafood,” Wonwoo adds quickly when Soonyoung seems to have reached a decision. 

The addition doesn’t seem to affect Soonyoung, but he nods to assure Wonwoo that he’s heard him. He puts in an order of bibimbap, tailoring it as he sees fit, then thanks the worker. “We should do that sometime,” he says, both startling and confusing Wonwoo. His hand wraps around Wonwoo’s wrist in excitement and the contact is what is startling to Wonwoo. He realizes that he might have grabbed onto Soonyoung earlier when they were running, but that had been different somehow, less intimate than right now. “Order for each other. Try to get something that the other will like.” Again, he’s smiling that megawatt smile and Wonwoo feels like melting into the sidewalk and down the drains into the sewers. It’s not fair that he makes him feel this way, especially when he can’t believe in this yet. There’s no such thing as true love and fate isn’t bringing them together. All this is now is a simple attraction. 

_ Then why does it feel so much deeper than that?  _ His mind yells at him, trying to make reason out of his hurricane of emotions. It’s something that he’ll end up pushing deep down inside of himself, saving the sorting of it out until later. He’s stubborn in regard to his own emotions and sometimes that takes others by surprise, especially when they discover that he’s a bit of a romantic. 

Mingyu firmly believes that Wonwoo is simply making a joke out of his enjoyment of romance novels and films.  _ There’s just no way that a romantic is such a firm denier of things that are sappy and oversaturated in romance. Romantics kill for that kind of stuff and you turn your nose up at it. The only thing romantic about you is your taste in media. To you, the whole category of romance seems to be fictional unless it is strictly about these two people who go on a bunch of dates, develop a love bond alongside a trust bond, and then live happily ever after. Wonwoo, that’s not how it is. True love may be bogus, but you can’t deny that there are types of attraction that pull you in and deceive you. Some of them are so strong you feel like you are falling forever. I don’t know what type of romantic you are, but it is a fake one. Love at first sight, it might be a hoax, honestly, but there’s something that brought me to Joshua and it wasn’t anything about his personality. Trust took so long, but I could tell you exactly when I started loving him and did those sensations in my body feel any differently from the day I met him? No, Wonwoo. He still gives me the same butterflies, the same tingling nerve endings, the same painful palpitations. What was it then if it feels the same now?  _ He had cornered Wonwoo when they were leaving a party hosted by Seungkwan’s roommate. For a spectacular length of time, Wonwoo had degraded love in many romantic forms, but then proceeded to inform his friends that he happened to be a romantic. It had been one of his worse nights, even though he hadn’t drank much. By the end of it, Mingyu had felt insulted. Out of all his intentions with his rambling about false love, he hadn’t meant to hurt anyone’s feelings. He just felt… Well, he didn’t know how he felt about it. It’s hard to define his feelings for a subject that he hasn’t personally breached. Maybe he doesn’t believe in love at first sight, but Mingyu had points in his anger. If anything, Mingyu made him consider the subject a little more in depth, it just didn’t have the power to make him change his mind. 

Still, he isn’t going to let Mingyu or Soonyoung challenge his beliefs just because one thinks the other way while the other makes him feel in a way that he doesn’t understand. “I’d like to try that,” he says once he is able to pull himself out of that deep part of his mind that he gets so easily lost within. Soonyoung smiles at his consent, but his grip doesn’t loosen until the food truck worker is handing them their food. It isn’t until they are walking away that Wonwoo realizes that Soonyoung’s paid for him. 

Immediately, Soonyoung dives into his food, relishing in the taste. Wonwoo can tell that he’s really savoring it because he tips his head back, chewing slowly, with his eyes closed. It’s a type of moment that Wonwoo never allows himself. He’s not one to savor much of anything unless it is literature. With food, he would just wolf it down as fast as possible, barely tasting it. Sometimes, he allowed the warmth of the food to sit with him an extra moment, but rarely did he just bask in a moment simply to enjoy himself. Maybe that’s why he finds himself watching Soonyoung with such wonder. He finds himself honestly admiring Soonyoung’s love for life. If he’s exhibited anything during their date, then it is that. Through the entire night, his infectious smile hasn’t left his face as he excitedly jumped at every opportunity presented to him. The way he carries himself is full of a charismatic confidence that doesn’t come across as haughty or obnoxious as it does with Mingyu. 

“Want some?” He hears Soonyoung before realizing that he’s trying to feed him some of his fries. His arm is already extended towards Wonwoo with the food in his hand. It appears as though Soonyoung has taken Wonwoo’s staring to mean that he wants him to share his food with him. Although it isn’t the truth of the matter, he’s glad to pretend that it is. Quickly, he opens his mouth, moving forward to meet Soonyoung halfway. With the food in his mouth, he tries to savor it the same way that he had seen Soonyoung, but it just goes down like everything else. 

But he knows better than to meet Soonyoung’s glittering happiness with his indifference. Maybe it wouldn’t ruin the night, but Wonwoo doesn’t want to risk anything tonight. This will be Soonyoung’s first impression of him, the non-elementary school version of him. If Kwon Soonyoung truly remembers everything, then Wonwoo wants to make sure that every moment they have together ends up being happy memories. Every memory that Soonyoung reflects on deserves to be brimming with life and the same fondness that blankets tonight. Wonwoo might not have control of the moments when they aren’t together, but he has control of this now. He only wants to see Soonyoung smile. 

Softly, Wonwoo hums. “It tastes good.” Then he busies himself with tending to his own food. None of it ends up tasteless, but he still is never able to replicate the feeling that appears on Soonyoung’s face while he’s enjoying his food. He’s not jealous that he isn’t experiencing the same feeling as he eats his bibimbap. Actually, he’s just pleased that Soonyoung seems to be enjoying himself. That’s all that matters to him, as they walk back to the nightclub while eating. They make small talk, but none of it ever sticks. Most involve the quality of the food and Soonyoung inquires a little more about Mingyu and Joshua’s relationship, then their relationship with Wonwoo. 

 

The whole night seems to have taken on warm hues. Around them, there appears to be a happiness present and it influences the connection that they have, seemingly making it stronger. Soonyoung offers up another bite of his fries, one of his last, and Wonwoo takes it delicately, then offers him his own food in thanks. They help each other finish their food, then discard it into a nearby trashcan. The air still remains warm even though it is so cold outside. The sounds of the city chirp around them, but they are in their own world.  _ What was it then if it feels the same now?  _ Mingyu’s words find him whenever he is the last person he wants to hear echoing through his mind. 

_ What is it now?  _ Wonwoo has to ask himself as he is looking down at Soonyoung who seems to have an extra skip in his step now that he’s eaten. Just looking at him makes Wonwoo feel inexplicably warm, but he knows that he can’t move too fast in a relationship because then it will end up burning out before he’s even given it a chance.  _ What is this?  _ Soonyoung looks up at him and his whole world seems to slow down and speed up all at the same time. It feels like he’s at the very top of a rollercoaster ride and they’ve forgotten to strap him in. 

“Hey, shithead!” A new voice breaks through their atmosphere, corrupting it. 

When Wonwoo looks over, he’s greeted by what appears to be an eleven-year old driving a particular high-end car. He’s hanging out of the window while driving as slow as possible to match their walking pace. There’s a sudden surge of fear that threatens to result in a panic attack in the middle of the street, but then Soonyoung calls back to the child and he finds his mind trying to calm his body down in small ripples of support. “I told you to come later, Jihoon!  _ Later! _ ” He yells like he’s about to have a tantrum. It’s like the appearance of this boy turns Soonyoung himself into a child. Wonwoo almost expects him to start stomping his feet in defiance.

“This  _ is  _ later, dipshit! Check your  _ fucking  _ phone and you would have known I was on my way. I called you five times and you didn’t answer once and all of that was before I left our apartment! If you didn’t want to be picked up until a couple hours later than the scheduled time, then you should have said  _ that _ ,” the small child-appearing person is yelling even louder now. The longer Wonwoo watches him, the more he fears ever angering him. “Now, get into the car! I have an exam to study for and you are wasting my precious time.” 

“I am your precious waste of time then,” Soonyoung pouts his lips and shakes his shoulders. “I’m not going home yet though. I didn’t even say goodbye to Mingyu and Joshua!” This time when he gets upset, he jumps up and down which in Wonwoo’s mind is just as bad as stomping his feet. The boy in the car does not look deterred by an inch. 

Actually, he’s still frothing with anger. “I drove around this whole fucking city to find you five blocks away from where I was supposed to pick you up.” Wonwoo wouldn’t be surprised if he climbed out of his car and proceeded to beat Soonyoung up. He doesn’t really know what he’d do if that happened, but he knows that he’d like to avoid it. “Get in the car.” 

“Kiss my ass,” Soonyoung shoots back. “You aren’t my mother, Jihoonie! I’m not getting in that car and I’m not going home! I have no curfew.  _ You  _ were the one concerned about Wonwoo.” 

At the mention of his name, it is as though Jihoon realizes that they have company. He doesn’t necessarily soften as much as he just turns his angry attention from Soonyoung to Wonwoo. Briefly, while he has the seconds to himself to be able to process his thoughts, Wonwoo realizes that this is the human equivalent to looking down the barrel of a gun. “You’re Wonwoo?” He asks, but it sounds like he’s demanding him to state his name. To be fair to the boy, he looks like he hasn’t slept in a month. Maybe that’s why everything he says comes out sounding so mad. 

Unable to find his words, Wonwoo just nods. “Nice to meet you,” he says, but it sounds like forced manners. 

“Nice to meet you too,” He replies so quietly that he’s surprised that Jihoon has even heard him, but he apparently does because he’s moving his attention yet again to Soonyoung. None of them have stopped to have this conversation yet and the approach of the nearest intersection is Wonwoo’s saving grace from the awkward humility and red hot anger that Jihoon has brought with him to pick Soonyoung up. 

“Get in the car,” he bites out the words. His car weaves a little closer to the sidewalk and Wonwoo watches it anxiously. “ _ Now _ .” Even though he’s terrifying, Soonyoung stands his ground. The only person capable of true, frightening anger in Wonwoo’s circle of friends is Seungcheol, but he’s usually a very laidback person. Anger is an emotion that he hasn’t had to deal with since leaving the company of his parents and it is an emotion that he finds hard to understand. But this Jihoon has anger mastered. It is thriving within him and controlling him right now. Maybe he isn’t always like this, but this is all Wonwoo can see right now: annoyance, anger, and sleep deprivation. This might be the only time that he’s willing to try to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. People usually are horrible, but maybe Jihoon has just had the toughest week of college and to have to take care of his roommate on top of everything is enough to do him in. 

He’s about to offer to take Soonyoung home for him when Soonyoung tries to make a deal with Jihoon. “I’ll buy you coffee if you let us finish walking the block to the nightclub. Let me say goodbye to Mingyu and Joshua and Wonwoo, then I’ll let you take me home. Next time I won’t bother you about picking me up either, deal?” 

Jihoon looks like the type of person to not be swayed by hastily made deals, but Wonwoo fears that he honestly might be at wit’s end when he starts to consider it. From their short distance away from him, Wonwoo can see the cogs whirring away in his head, trying to figure out if this plan is worth it. It could be worth it, as long as he likes coffee,  _ and  _ as long as Soonyoung keeps up his promise of never asking Jihoon to pick him up again.  _ Wait…  _ Wonwoo’s brain seems to short circuit. For a brief moment, he loses touch with the present because he’s rewinding himself back seconds to try to confirm what he thinks he heard.  _ Next time? Soonyoung is already saying there will be a next time?  _ There’s no denying the meaning behind his words, as long as he’s heard him correctly. The probability of him being misheard is quite low, but Wonwoo can’t let himself get giddy over something that could have just been said in the heat of the moment. For all he knows, Soonyoung might not truly mean it. Not every good night had to lead to a follow-up. This could have been enough for Soonyoung. It could have confirmed that Wonwoo is the furthest thing from his type.  _ It could lead to something more _ . 

“Fine,” Jihoon breaks easily without much pressure. “I’m going to get the coffee now though, so you better have your money ready when I pick you up, or I’m not taking you home.” With that, he’s driving away. It leaves Soonyoung no room to argue with him, but Wonwoo doesn’t know why he would when he’s just gotten his way. 

Without missing a beat, Soonyoung turns his attention back to Wonwoo and grins up at him. “He’s the best a man can get.” 

“Gillette?” Wonwoo raises an eyebrow in disbelief. He shouldn’t have expected better from Soonyoung, really. The boy did seem to enjoy cheesy jokes and so did Wonwoo, but he isn’t going to succumb to the laughter that sits on his shoulders. Instead, he coughs to try to ward it away, but that grin is still playing on Soonyong features and it threatens to knock Wonwoo over. 

Unlike him, Soonyoung falls into laughter and embraces it. “No,” he’s trying hard to speak past his giggles, “His name is Jihoon.” He finally manages the words, then abruptly sputters unattractively. Once again, he’s lost himself in his own laughter and Wonwoo feels the familiar feeling rising in his chest right before he’s laughing alongside Soonyoung, clutching onto his shoulder to keep himself steady. 

It is probably quite the sight to everyone else enjoying the night: two college-aged boys doubled over in laughter as they clutch onto each other’s shoulders. Maybe people would avoid them, guessing that they are full of liquor, or maybe people would view them with a rare type of fondness shared for those who are experiencing a type of happiness that everyone wishes they could hold onto for just a moment. There’s no one else laughing in the middle of busy Seoul, and if there is, then their happiness can’t compare to what Wonwoo is feeling. Tonight is a night for people to get second chances, not with others, but within themselves. 

Tonight ends up being the night that Wonwoo gives himself a second chance. 

 

“Do you  _ have  _ to leave?” Mingyu whines, clearly a little worse for wear. They are standing outside of the nightclub, [listening to the music pour out from the warm interior](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snZtuWcazfw). Wonwoo had been tempted to urge Soonyoung against saying goodbye to them, but when they had left from the nightclub, they had left Mingyu and Joshua with their tab. While Wonwoo is used to having Mingyu pay for him, Soonyoung isn’t accustomed to it and by the way he tries to pay him back upon immediately seeing him, Wonwoo doesn’t know if he’ll ever be okay with Mingyu and Joshua paying for him. He wonders if Soonyoung does this with his own friends or he’s just trying to put his best foot forward for Wonwoo’s friends. Neither would really surprise him because he’s come to know the Soonyoung of tonight as overwhelmingly polite where money was concerned, but he’s also a charmer. Specifically, Wonwoo thinks that Soonyoung’s new plan is to charm Mingyu into adoring him regardless of his fashion choices. 

So far, it seems to be working. Jihoon has taken longer than expected to get coffee, but Soonyoung reassures him that he’s probably just trying to give them some time together.  _ He’s not a prickly as he looks. School hits him the hardest. Never tell him that music majors have it easy because he’ll probably absolutely go out and murder you and all your loved ones. Remember that he’s not  _ as  _ prickly. That doesn’t mean he isn’t prickly because he’s plenty prickly.  _ Soonyoung had talked briefly about Jihoon, his roommate, on the rest of their walk back to the nightclub. They’ve been friends for a couple of years now and there are only a few others that Soonyoung trusts as much as he trusts Jihoon. Because of their friendship, and his studies as a dance major, he’s mostly friends with music majors that Wonwoo doesn’t really know. There is Seungkwan though, and Soonyoung had heard about Joshua, but since he’s his senior and in production rather than dancing, he had never run into him. 

He also does happen to know Minghao and Junhui which has Wonwoo feeling incredibly anxious about the future.  _ I’m only close with Minghao, really. He was my roommate my first year on campus. His best friend hadn’t been expecting to go to school around here, but after a couple of weeks of living together, he found out that his family had pretty much forced him to enroll. Minghao’s friend lived with some stranger that he hardly knew. All I remember is being so scared that I was going to be left without a roommate. I’m shit at living alone.  _ He laughs, unaware that Mingyu is the friend in the story and Wonwoo is the stranger. He doesn’t press him on the subject though. The last thing he wants to find out is that Mingyu had complained about him while they lived together. So, he doesn’t let him know the truth about that story, yet. A day will come when he’ll have to fill him in, but hopefully Minghao would do it before Wonwoo could have another chance. 

Outside of Wonwoo’s inner ramblings, Soonyoung nods towards Mingyu. “I do, I do have to go. I will definitely be sure to return to you soon.” He starts to walk away, holding his hand out as though he is reaching towards Mingyu. “Nothing can keep us apart, Romeo.” Dramatically, he clutches his hands to his heart, balling the fabric of his jacket up in his grasp. Mingyu laughs so hard that he snorts. 

“Watch it,” Joshua says, no real heat behind his words. There is a possessiveness in his hands though because they curl around Mingyu’s arm, holding fast. They always make Wonwoo feel like jealousy is contagious because Joshua had never been much of a jealous person before Mingyu, but Mingyu could be desperately jealous at times. It comes with having everything he could possibly ask for, Wonwoo figures, but Joshua is not something that Mingyu can just have. Both know that too well, Mingyu especially, which is why he holds onto him a little tighter whenever he senses competition. Wonwoo wishes he could reassure the both of them that they have nothing to worry about. Any outsider can see that they are completely wound around each other’s fingers. Neither have to be jealous because Wonwoo highly doubts that they even have eyes for other people. He wouldn’t be surprised to find out that the rest of the world is just cardboard to them at this point in their relationship. 

Wonwoo doesn’t know if he’d like a relationship like that, but he’s unaware of what type of relationship he wants at all. He can’t see himself being like that with Soonyoung, although that’s understandable. Mingyu and Joshua have been together for years and have gone through complicated matters involving their fame and fortune. Whereas Soonyoung and him have been on one date. It’s hard to see the distant future after just one date, but it isn’t impossible. As for what he wants right now? Wonwoo knows that he wants to see Soonyoung again, wants to know more about him, wants to get underneath his skin. Distractedly, Wonwoo peers at his phone, checking the time. “We should probably really say goodbye. I’ll wait with Soonyoung for Jihoon.” He finds himself saying.

He can’t look at Mingyu though because he knows that he’ll be teased for being ‘so gentlemanly.’ It’s the last thing that he needs is for drunken Mingyu to endlessly tease him in front of Soonyoung. If he plays his cards right, then hopefully it’ll all be contained within Joshua’s car, away from Soonyoung’s eyes and ears. “Yes,” Joshua agrees, tugging on Mingyu’s arm. “We’ll go warm the car. I have to get him some water anyway, he has classes tomorrow.” 

They nod, but Mingyu won’t leave until Soonyoung gives him a hug. Sloppily, in the midst of the hug, Mingyu kisses the side of Soonyoung’s face, leaving a bit of spit behind. Joshua and Wonwoo can only watch in horror as it happens. But Soonyoung handles it with grace as he gives Mingyu a chaste kiss onto his cheeks. “Okay, Romeo. It was nice to meet you,” he chuckles, steering Mingyu back towards Joshua. With Mingyu’s back to him, he mouths a silent apology to Joshua who simply shrugs. The night could have gone worse. 

“It was nice to meet you, Soonyoung,” Joshua says, waving, then he’s pulling Mingyu along before he can give Soonyoung anymore imprompotu kisses. Wonwoo has never been more thankful for Joshua’s patience and kindness than right now because it gives him a couple more minutes to say his own goodbye to Soonyoung. 

When he turns to him, Soonyoung’s back to looking as nervous as he had when they met up in the nightclub. “It was fun… tonight.” He says slowly, avoiding Wonwoo’s gaze. Initially, it makes Wonwoo fret over what could have gone wrong, but he doesn’t succumb to that panic yet. He waits to see if Soonyoung has more to say first. 

After taking a deep breath, Soonyoung decides that he does have more to say. He startles Wonwoo by looking up at him with that megawatt smile that stretches across his whole face and makes his cheeks even rosier. “Let’s take a picture to remember tonight.” He says, pulling his phone out of his pocket and holding it up in the air. “Then… you could give me your phone number and I could send it to you. It’d… feel better to be talking to you somewhere other than Tinder…” His nerves seem to, once again, get the best of him. “If that’s okay?” 

Never having been good at appearing friendly, Wonwoo tries to school his features into approachable, at least, and reflects Soonyoung’s smile with a smaller one of his own. “Yeah. I’d like that.” He finds himself looking away even though he’s supposed to be the fearless one right now. It’s hard to try to hold a title that he’s never had before. Soonyoung’s smile only widens as he steps in closer. 

Before Wonwoo knows it, the picture has been taken, flash blinding him momentarily. The roar of an engine lets them know that Jihoon has arrived to pick Soonyoung up. Disappointment hangs in the air, but Soonyoung’s smile doesn’t let up. In fact, he says, “Let’s take one more for good measure,” then surprises Wonwoo by reaching up on his toes to press his warm lips against the cold skin of Wonwoo’s cheek. It hits the corner of his mouth and makes it feel dry. It’s just a kiss on the cheek, but his knees shake in the slightest, threatening to take him down.  _ Oh no _ , his chest reaches out to hold Soonyoung, but before he can even react, Soonyoung is running to Jihoon’s car. “Jeon Wonwoo, I think  _ you  _ are the best a man can get!” He’s yelling back to him, waving his arm, but Wonwoo’s too stricken to do anything but wave back. 

As he’s walking back to Joshua’s car, his phone vibrates, alerting him to a message. It’s Soonyoung, on Tinder, asking for his phone number, and he finds himself willingly giving it over without any hesitation. He’s excited at the prospect of getting to talk to Soonyoung off of the dating app where they met. It takes their relationship up a notch, in a technological sense at least. It takes him until he’s climbing into the backseat of Joshua’s car to get another message. This time, it’s Soonyoung again, but there’s a picture attached.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might update slow the next time bcos i have to work on winterstar!!!!! and a bday fic!!! but i will be working on this still!!!  
> once again, my twitter is @minshuas_ fjkldjslf 
> 
> thank you so much for reading and supporting me!!!!!


	6. No Anxiety Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo goes to therapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BET U THOUGHT I GAVE UP ON THIS BUT I DIDN'T...  
> ;)
> 
> ilu all and i'm here for this ride until the end!!!!! i hope you enjoy this chapter!

The mornings when Wonwoo wakes up without his head swimming from the aftereffects of alcohol have come to be rare, so when they occur he can’t help but to think the day is going to go better. Unless those mornings occur during finals week, then he’s just put into a worse mood as the realization of impending doom washes over him. This morning is the first morning after he’s made the decision to give himself a second chance. A second chance at what? Well, maybe Wonwoo isn’t even very sure about the technicalities of it, but he’s no longer giving up on himself. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t immediately get out of bed when his alarm goes off, because he wants to just feel what it is like to look forward to the day ahead. Right now, it is just a spark of hope, but it is more than he’s ever had. 

His alarm goes off at eight, but he doesn’t manage to untangle himself from his ocean blue sheets until eight-thirty. Now he’s only left with thirty minutes to get ready for the day ahead: the  _ new  _ day ahead. When he’s on his feet, he takes initiative in starting the day by turning his alarm off. The room goes silent and he’s left with two unread messages. For some reason, his breath catches in his throat at the sight of a possibility to hear from Soonyoung.

The first message is from Joshua.

But the second is Soonyoung.

There’s a flood of happiness that comes after reading Soonyoung’s message. He has to collect himself before he can respond back to him. It’s silly, and dangerous. The pull that Soonyoung already has on Wonwoo, just by existing in his life. Their date had been  _ amazing _ , but that is no excuse for the way his heartbeat picks up speed whenever he’s mentioned. True love? A total hoax. There’s no way that Wonwoo is dreaming about their future when he doesn’t even know if they are really all that compatible. He isn’t supposed to have expectations about how their relationship will end up, or at least, he’s not supposed to blindly believe that they are going to work out and make each other happier. There is nothing to gain from thinking Soonyoung is perfect for him. If anything, that’s the most dangerous thought he could have. That’s why he won’t think like that. Maybe he can’t get rid of the butterflies, but he’ll be able to stay rational about the  _ possible  _ future of their relationship. 

He responds quickly to both Joshua and Soonyoung, then starts to get ready for the day since he’s already late. 

While he is changing, he realizes that there is no way he’s going to make it to his therapy appointment on time if he’s walking. He has one phone call to make it right. Precious time is in jeopardy, especially when several of his friends live closer than Mingyu and Joshua do. He closes his eyes and dials a number, hoping against fate that someone will get him there on time. “Hey,” he says, mentally kicking himself for stooping this low. 

“It’s nine in the morning and you  _ know  _ that I had dance practice last night,” Junhui’s voice breaks up over the line. He sounds annoyed, not angry, and Wonwoo is thankful for that. An annoyed Junhui is always easier to persuade than an angry Junhui is. “This better be good, Jeon Wonwoo. I don’t even have class today. It is my  _ free day _ . Please leave me alone for just  _ one day _ .” He must be beyond tired. Wonwoo knows that his schedule usually weighs him down because he’s such an overachiever. Balancing all of his extracurricular activities with his schoolwork just isn’t an easy task. Towards the middle of the week, he begins to feel sluggish and moody. Honestly, it is a miracle that he’s managed to stay in school when it affects him so clearly. He wishes that he had someone else to call, but there isn’t anyone else who understands this aspect of his life as much as Junhui does. 

Shakily, he exhales, peering down at his watch. It is only getting later and later. At this rate, he won’t make it there fifteen minutes before his appointment. His therapist shouldn’t expect more from him though. She should understand their relationship by now: he’s the worst patient in the world and she makes sure to have the lowest expectations possible for his actions. “I just need a ride. I’m running late for therapy and I don’t want to miss my appointment.” He chews on his lip, nervous that Junhui will finally break and say no. One day that’ll happen. What does Wonwoo ever do for Junhui? Other than give him headaches, he can’t really remember anything. “I’ll walk back home, so you can just come in your pyjamas.” He makes the amendment already knowing that Junhui won’t just leave him there even though he could. He’s never been the type of person to do the minimum. Plus, he can always just go back to sleep after the appointment. 

“Be there in three. You  _ better  _ be ready.” Immediately, he hangs up and Wonwoo finishes sliding his jeans on. His only class today is right after his therapy appointment so he decides to take his bag with him. If he just happened to forget it, then Junhui would assume that he’s not going to his class and  _ that  _ would be enough to transform annoyed Junhui into angry Junhui. He’d probably be left on the side of the road. Nothing will ever make Junhui as upset as skipping classes does. Maybe that’s why his attendance this semester looks so much better than last. Junhui could be a positive influence, even if he wasn’t the one that Wonwoo always went to when he needed someone. 

To reduce Junhui’s stress, Wonwoo decides to wait outside for him. It’ll give him an opportunity to check the mail too. It is always the last thing he remembers to do. The last time he had checked his mail was only because it was threatening to pour out of his mailbox. The mailman had complained that he never checked his mail enough, especially when he usually got a hefty amount of it. If he’s honest with himself, then mail scares him. Ever since he’s been accepted into Mingyu’s friend group, he’s scared of the bad publicity he could receive. Fans follow Mingyu wherever he goes. He’s a famous actor and model with some incredibly talented, beautiful friends. Everyone always had to be in his business. That’s why he had come out before his career even took off. If he was honest with the world, then they could never make him out to be a liar. However, the world could make Wonwoo out to be anyone. The magazine spread he had did hadn’t really asked about anything personal. All he had talked about was modelling: what being a model meant to him and how he felt about future opportunities. Wonwoo always looked over his mail with a fine-tooth comb for any negative publicity. What would he do if he found out he was the subject of conversation? He has absolutely no clue, but his first step would be going to Mingyu. 

Junhui arrives in three minutes exactly. No time is wasted as Wonwoo rushes to open his passenger side door and throw himself in. Quickly, he buckles and closes the door behind him, careful not to slam it. There’s a pile of mail in his hand and before he has no idea what to do with it, he stuffs it into his bag. It’ll weigh him down and he’ll probably forget about it, but he’d rather keep it there than anywhere else. If he left it in Junhui’s car then he’d get into so much trouble. He would never hear the end of it. It would be something Junhui held onto for months. He’s just not going to risk that. “Morning,” Junhui says, rubbing his ear on his shoulder before pulling out of Wonwoo’s driveway. “Do you ever think you’ll get yourself a car?” 

“Not anytime soon. I’m paying for college out of my ass right now since my parents decided to pull my funding,” he rolls his eyes, leaning back in his seat. “Do you need me to put the place in the GPS?” 

Laughter keeps him in his seat. Junhui’s laughter is beautiful, even though Wonwoo had been entirely sure that no one could in a prettily way. Laughter is supposed to be embarrassing and loud, but Junhui never follows the rules. It is like life’s memos just pass him by. “No,” he shakes his head, focusing on the road. When he’s pulled out onto the freeway safely, he glances at Wonwoo. “If you ever ask me that again, then I’ll kick you out of my car. I’m literally your personal chauffeur at this point, right?” It’s true, but Wonwoo doesn’t say anything in response. Joshua and Mingyu drove him around a lot, but whenever he needed to go somewhere by himself, he always just asked Junhui. 

There’s nothing else to say on the subject. He hopes that Junhui does remember the way and will be able to get him there in time. If not, then he’s going to have to hear it from Mingyu and Joshua later.  _ You should be more responsible,  _ inner Mingyu says and Wonwoo wants to kill him. He can’t ever just leave him alone. “What’re your plans for today?” A diversion in conversation might work to ease up Junhui’s mood. By the time he’s done with his appointment, Junhui will be impatient to get home and go to sleep. If he’s truthful, he feels bad about taking this time out of his morning, but he doesn’t know what else to do. Junhui is usually the most dependable member of their friend group and he understands Wonwoo more than even Mingyu. Their friendship, while not strong, is important. 

“Well, after I’m done with you, I plan on going home and dying for approximately,  _ at least _ , seven hours. After that, I’m free, but I’m guessing that you aren’t asking about that.”  _ Ouch _ . Wonwoo knows that he should be a better friend, but he doesn’t exactly know how. If Junhui and him spent time together, then what would they do? Would they even enjoy being in each other’s company? Wonwoo hardly enjoys being with Mingyu and Joshua sometimes, so would it be so different with Junhui? He doubts it, but that’s probably just the pessimist inside of him. “How did your date go last night? I almost forgot about it, but Mingyu wouldn’t stop livestreaming it in our group chat.” Swiftly,  he glances over at Wonwoo, then turns down a side street. He does remember the way to his therapist. They’ll be there in under five minutes. Junhui is really a lifesaver. 

It is, however, horrifying to discover that Mingyu gave their friend group a play-by-play of their night. Many, many months ago, Wonwoo had muted their group chat so that his phone didn’t explode with messages from Mingyu and Minghao. Both could be quite talkative on the online platform, especially if they were talking to each other. Some of the others are talkative too, but no one topped Mingyu. He always had something to share with everyone: plans, news, or just recent gossip. Going to lunch updated Wonwoo on everything that had been shared in the chat, so he felt little need to unmute the chat. Ever. But now, he’s having second thoughts. It would be nice to know when and what Mingyu is saying about him at any given moment. Wonwoo knows, deep, deep down, that Mingyu means no harm and he’s only living his life through a social platform because he has to be so secretive. But still. He doesn’t need to talk to everyone about Wonwoo’s life. Mingyu’s life does not equal Wonwoo’s life, at all. They aren’t even similar. (And if that’s his excuse, then Wonwoo needed to be exchanging some words with his best friend.)

“Didn’t Mingyu tell you how it went?” He’s a little sour by the news, and he’s absolutely no good at hiding his emotions. Especially the negative ones. “Because from what I saw, he wasn’t with me for half the night  _ and  _ he was properly glued to Joshua’s side, as usual.” The bitterness in his tone is definitely raw. Junhui catches his gaze and shakes his head. Everyone would always have Mingyu’s back in situations. 

Junhui shifts the car into park and leans over to touch Wonwoo’s shoulder. It might calm a rational person down, but Wonwoo just shrinks away from it. If Junhui’s hurt, he doesn’t show it. “It wasn’t like that. Mostly he just talked about how much he loved Soonyoung, even if he dressed poorly. I think it was nice of Mingyu. He wasn’t too invasive and he managed to slip in some compliments towards Joshua. You can check the chat when you have time. It’ll adjust your mood about it, I promise. Mingyu… can be terrible, but he wasn’t last night. Maybe just a little too tipsy.” Then Junhui is pulling away, looking directly at the building in front of them. “That’ll be fifteen dollars.” 

“No tax?” Wonwoo deadpans. His mood can’t just improve because of his reassurances, but he’ll take his advice. Later on, he’ll look through the chat history and that might calm him down. “Thanks.” He bows his head, reaching for the handle to let himself out. Junhui nods in response. It’s the most either can manage. 

“I’ll be out here waiting for you.” Unnecessarily, Junhui informs him. He wishes that he would just go back home and crawl back into bed, but there’s a part of Junhui that is so good and pure that he cannot just abandon his friends, even if he can threaten it all day. As Wonwoo is closing the door, he catches sight of Junhui leaning his seat back. He hopes that he’s comfortable and safe like that, and just before he closes the door, he makes sure to press the automatic lock button so that no one disturbs him. It’s only one measly layer of security, but sometimes that’s all that someone needs. 

“Jeon Wonwoo,” a feminine, strong voice calls out just after he’s checked in with the receptionist. This morning she doesn’t sound angry, but maybe that’s because Wonwoo has been more honest with her lately. He rushes to collect his things and follow her back to her room. “Good morning.” Her smile is soft and beautiful. Everything about her is young and strong. Wonwoo remembers when he first saw her, he couldn’t believe that she was a therapist.  _ How old are you?  _ He had asked, but she never gave him a proper answer. “Do you want some coffee? I’m going to grab some water, if you don’t mind.” He doesn’t, so he just steps to the side and lets her take the detour to the break room. The polite thing would be to get some water or coffee too, but he hates the atmosphere in this building. Therapy feels so clinical in this building, which, he supposes  _ it is _ , but that doesn’t mean it has to feel like he’s in a hospital. 

Just as she’s about to leave, Wonwoo grabs an empty cup. “Sorry, I think I’ll take some water too.” Flustered, he begins to fill his cup. All the while, his therapist just watches him with this indecipherable grin on her face. He can never tell if she thinks he is a big joke or if she’s just fond of him. It isn’t like he’s been seeing her for a whole year yet, so how could he possibly get attached. It is more likely that she thinks of him as the butt of some joke. That’s the way he’d see himself if he were his own therapist. “Thanks,” he mutters when he’s finished, letting her take the lead to her room. She waits until he’s in before she shuts the door and opens her blinds fully. 

“Alright,” she takes the seat across of him. It’s a desk chair with wheels, but it doesn’t look any more comfortable than the chair he’s sitting in. The room is small, cramped. It makes Wonwoo want to crawl out the window, but he’s used to this by now. He knows that if he breathes out of his nose, then he can overcome his panic. She watches him, trying to find an opening. For some reason, she’s a professional at reading his body language and it makes his skin crawl. In front of her, he’s an open book. That’s just something he’s never wanted to be. When she ascertains that he’s ready, though, she begins the appointment. “Let’s talk about your week so far.” She nods, resolutely. This is how every single appointment goes. 

Sometimes Wonwoo talks about his week. Sometimes he talks about recent dreams that he’s had. Sometimes he brings up a topic and Minkyung and him talk about it for the whole session. Other times, he barely says anything. One time, he had just sat there and cried. At the last five minutes, Minkyung had told him that that’s what people needed sometimes, and she’s no one to get in the way of someone’s needs. The sessions are run by Wonwoo, but timed by her. She dictates when they begin and end while he chooses the subject. The only two sessions she would ever have control over are the first and last ones. At their first appointment, she had made that promise. 

Today, there’s nothing that Wonwoo really wants to talk about. Maybe Soonyoung, but he’s still weary about introducing others to the idea of him. Plus, the last time that he had mentioned having a significant other, it had been a hoax. He had no idea how she would feel about him bringing someone else up now. It has been awhile since that incident, so he might get away with it, but he can’t stand the look of skepticism that could possibly play on Minkyung’s face. She thinks she’s mastered a poker face, but she emotes constantly. Just as well as she reads him, he reads her. It is a type of game that his brain likes to play. Maybe some of them are assumptions, but he has to know how she’s going to react to what he wants to share with her. There are some disappointments that Wonwoo has learned to accept. His parents are the best example of that, but there are others he wants to impress. Minkyung, for some reason, just happens to be one of them. She’s important to Wonwoo, even if she’s the most infuriating person in his life. None of his other relationships could compare to this one. It is important in a complicated way. 

“I had a date recently,” he starts off. “My friends have been bothering me about it for so long that I figured that I would try my hand at… online dating. I know that it doesn’t seem like it is my style and  _ it isn’t _ , but I was running out of options. Meeting people organically… It just wasn’t working anymore. Anyways, I matched with this person.” He freezes, unsure of how to continue. Telling Minkyung his sexual preference shouldn’t change their relationship, but he still worries about it. There’s no time for it though. He takes his phone out of the side of the bag, smiling at the notification of a message, but swiping off of it to show her a picture of Soonyoung. This is entirely different from how he dealt with telling her his imagined lover. This time, he’s going to be honest with her and introduce her to him before she has a chance to suspect him of lying. “His name is Soonyoung. I… I didn’t think about giving him a chance, but we went to the same elementary school. He has these stories about me that I remember and I remember a little bit about him. We were seatmates at one point, but he was a social boy. We didn’t mix well. I didn’t think we’d mix well now either, but I’m… I’m a lot different.” It always feels so silly to talk to Minkyung, but she listens well. Interacting with her is easy, which is saying a lot because Wonwoo can hardly interact easily with a map. 

“You are a lot different,” she hums in affirmation. “Are you thinking about seeing him again?” She doesn’t write anything down or turn her attention away from Wonwoo. Somehow, just being in this little room with her, makes the whole place feel less clinical. It is her magic at work. Slowly, Wonwoo might start to feel comfortable.  _ Might _ . There’s no guarantee because he’s still in therapy. There’s nothing comforting about having to talk about all of his problems with a stranger who just writes about him to others. “He’s  _ adorable _ .” She smiles, taking Wonwoo’s phone to look at the picture a little more closer. Wonwoo finds himself blushing without a direct cause. 

Wonwoo wants to nod, but he shrugs. “Yeah, he’s cute...” He makes himself sound small so he doesn’t sound so excited about Soonyoung. What would she think about him if he was actually excited that she thought he was cute? What would she think if he told her, enthusiastically, that he wanted to see Soonyoung again? When he had seen Soonyoung’s message, he had lit up. Everything about Soonyoung makes him happier and excited, but he knows that that’s just because he’s been away from romance for too long. His whole body is interested in the relationship that may or may not be, but his mind knows that it is better if he remains level-headed and cool about it. Minkyung finally stops evaluating Soonyoung and hands Wonwoo his phone back. “But… We might go out again. We haven’t talked about it yet, but we have talked since the date.” Another shrug. He does that a lot in here. 

“So, it went well?” She asks, leaning forward. The bracelet she is wearing moves along the length of her forearm because it is slightly too big. It is full of charms, not a very sophisticated bracelet. The childish nature of it doesn’t matter her mature demeanor. She wonders if it is from a sibling or a nephew or a younger patient. Does she even see younger patients? “You  _ do  _ want to go on another date. You just don’t know if it’ll be as good as the last one, right?” 

Anxiety, or chronic worry, matters to Minkyung. If Wonwoo is worried about something, then she needs to know. Especially because Wonwoo happens to worry a lot, about everything. It just takes him awhile to admit to everyone else that he’s interalizing it. “It went great. We went out with Mingyu and Joshua, then I took him to a food truck. He ordered for me and we walked back to the club. It was… nice. I didn’t really know what to expect since I haven’t went on a date in so long.” He admits, scratching the back of his head. Suddenly, he’s very aware that this is not just a conversation. It shouldn’t affect him, but he starts to monitor his words. Anxiety is not a problem that he is having. The pills he takes every morning help to eradicate that problem from his life. “No, I’m not worried about that,” he tries to be convincing. “I honestly just don’t know the script for dating anymore. It’s hard.”  _ Do you?  _ He wants to add on. That’s what he would say if he were talking to Nayoung, but he’s talking to Minkyung and they aren’t supposed to talk about her so much. He doesn’t know what he can ask her and what he can’t. 

She laughs lightly, shaking her head. “Dating  _ is  _ hard. I don’t know what I’d do if I got back on the scene and I’ve only been off it for two years.” She looks so young. Maybe younger than Wonwoo, but maybe the same age as him.  _ How is that possible?  _ If only he could ask her personal questions, then he’d be able to tell how old she is. “I wouldn’t worry about it a lot. Just make sure you are honest with Soonyoung. Tell him that you’ve just gotten back on the dating scene. You don’t have to tell him why until you are ready. Just let him know that you are serious, unless you aren’t serious. Just keep that line of communication open. Does that make sense? Don’t let him get mixed feelings and make sure you aren’t getting any from him either.” For her young age, she acts wise. Maybe that’s why she’s so young and already employed full-time. “Make sure to take things slow too.” 

As though he needs a reminder of that. 

“Got it.” He says, then shuts down. It is a bad habit of his. When he doesn’t want to talk about something, he lets Minkyung know through his body language. Right now, he’s crossing his arms and looking out the window. His lips are probably pouty. Acting like a child won’t allow him to get his way, but he can’t help but to try. It reminds him of how Mingyu acts. Maybe he’s taken note of a couple of his worst habits so he could have some for himself. “I do want to update my skip count. I missed Monday, but I will make sure to go to all the rest of my classes this week, and I did drop the class I had on Friday. I hated it.” The “skip count” is a post-it note that Minkyung has hanging off her computer. It counts for whole semesters. This semester, since it has only recently started, only says sixteen. It’ll be seventeen the next time he sees it. He can’t lie to her and tell her that he won’t miss anymore days, but it is a constant reminder of how many classes he’s missed. 

Minkyung nods. Now her face is a mask of non-expression. She could be the queen of remaining stoic. “I’ll mark it. Is there any reason why you didn’t go to class on Monday?” She’ll always fish for a deeper reason than the ones that Wonwoo always gives, but there aren’t any. If Wonwoo wakes up and doesn’t want to go to class, then he won’t. 

“I hate lecture halls,” he says. She knows this. This is something that he doesn’t hesitate to inform her of whenever he misses his Monday lecture. “I turned in the short paper assignment though. I know all the due dates for the other important things. We have an exam coming up next week. I’ll make sure to go.” This is a promise that he can make. There’s no way that Wonwoo will let himself fail out of school. Ever since his parents pulled their funding for him, he’s been trying harder to succeed. It is the least he can do for himself. 

“Noted,” she smiles. She does that because she trusts him just like he trusts himself. No, she trusts him  _ more  _ than he trusts himself. Minkyung is the type of person that Nayoung would love to hang out with. They’d have one of those happy, healthy relationships where they talk about bettering the world and going to rallies and helping others when they need it. He adores Nayoung, so he should be willing to give Minkyung a chance, but there’s a big difference in being someone’s therapist and in being their friend. He decides to talk about elementary school. 

As soon as he is back outside, Junhui honks at him. That’s the type of mood he’ll have to deal with, and Wonwoo supposes that that is okay. Therapy hadn’t been the worst, but he always felt drained afterwards. Maybe that’s why he scheduled a class right after his usual appointment time: he’d have less energy to skip it. It doesn’t make perfect sense, but with ‘Wonwoo Logic,’ it holds up. “Hey,” Junhui hangs out his window. “How did it go?” 

Wonwoo circles the car, climbing in to the passenger seat after almost opening the back door. “Fine. I hate it in there, you know?”  _ Does Junhui know?  _ Honestly, Wonwoo knows about Junhui’s own mental health problems, but he has no idea if he gets help or has received help in the past. He also doesn’t know if that’s an appropriate conversation to have with him. “You don’t have to take me to my class though. If you want to drop me off on campus, I can walk. I have plenty of time.” There’s a hint of exhaustion in his voice and Junhui probably picks up on it, but Wonwoo can’t begin to care. If he wouldn’t be skipping class to do it, then he could probably convince Junhui to take him to his place so they could nap. 

“How much time do you have?” asks Junhui, pulling out of his parking spot. 

Wonwoo shrugs, looking down at his phone. There’s a text from Soonyoung and his brain short circuits so he can reply to him. “Uh,” he taps at his screen, trying to remember what Junhui has just asked him. He comes up short and just sends the message.

Then he returns his attention to Junhui who is staring at him in stunned disbelief.  _ Oh _ , his brain starts working again. “Twenty extra minutes? About then?” 

“Is that Soonyoung?” They are at a stop sign and there’s no one behind them, but Wonwoo still wants Junhui to stuff it and drive. “Are you texting Soonyoung? Did your  _ brain  _ just stop working because of a  _ text _ ?” 

Wonwoo puts his phone up and leans back in his seat, crossing his arms against his chest. “Shut the fuck up, Junhui and drive.” There’s no way that he can tell that he was texting Soonyoung. Wonwoo’s bad at multitasking, so,  _ of course _ , he wouldn’t be able to immediately reply verbally to Junhui while texting. That’s obvious. Anyone would have been able to rationalize Wonwoo’s behavior. Junhui is reaching for something that isn’t even in the distance. 

It doesn’t matter that in reality he  _ was  _ texting Soonyoung. 

“Modern romance,” he says, then follows Wonwoo’s command to drive. He turns onto the road and spares Wonwoo a quick glance. “Do you want to get some breakfast? It’d have to be through the drive thru since you have class, but I’m in no mood to go back home and cook.” The nearest stops are only minutes away on the main road. They’ll have to pass them to get back to campus. Going out to eat with Junhui isn’t the worst idea. Wonwoo hardly eats properly when he’s in a hurry, like this morning, so it will be good for him to eat some more. 

Because he can let petty things go, Wonwoo nods. “I’ll pay.” Junhui’s a good friend who was willing to give him a ride to his appointment  _ and  _ to his class afterwards. Even if he had just teased Wonwoo about Soonyoung, he is still the Junhui that Wonwoo hates to love. They aren’t best friends, but as he’s been discovering a lot lately, there are certain relationships that don’t have to be like his and Mingyu’s for them to be important to him. Maybe he always needed to come upon that realization. “Do you want to go to a convenience store? We can run in together. It’ll be just as fast as a drive thru. Just a little more convenient.” 

“Good idea,” Junhui agrees, keeping his eyes out for the nearest convenience store. 

It isn’t until they are inside, snooping through aisles that Junhui brings it up again. He’s not nosey in the slightest, but he loves making other people’s business his. If he’s not in the loop, then he’s heartbroken. “You  _ were  _ texting Soonyoung, weren’t you? In the car.” Wonwoo wonders why he wants to know so badly. Maybe he wants to be able to tease Wonwoo since he’s never really had the power to do that before or maybe he just is curious about how it is going with Soonyoung. No matter what, Wonwoo doesn’t really want to admit that it was Soonyoung. That’s a personal greed of his. Not even grumpy Junhui who wants to go back to bed but it is getting breakfast with Wonwoo because what else are friends for gets to know about his private conversations. 

“I shouldn’t get cola, right? It is still too early for one.” Diversion isn’t the best method with Junhui, but there isn’t really any way to get him to back off aside from telling him to. In another life, he had probably been something incessantly annoying: like a bug or a yappy dog starved for attention. “What are you going to get?” Abruptly, Wonwoo heads down the next aisle, trying to put some distance in between them. 

It must be confusing for Junhui. He hasn’t known Wonwoo as long as some of Mingyu’s other friends. Mingyu had been the first person he had been introduced to while everyone else already knew each other because of shared majors or Mingyu reaching out to them. Wonwoo had been the newest addition to the group: an addendum or an afterthought. “Why don’t you want to talk about it?” He’s probably pouting. Junhui’s negative emotions are expressed in cutesy ways. Well, aside from anger. The ideal aspect of Junhui is how effortless he always looks. Which, that’s a fair evaluation because he does look effortless, even right now. Wonwoo knows how beaten down and tired he is, but he still looks so impossibly sweet. In terms of looking constantly like a model, Mingyu and Junhui had that handbook memorized. They are just always the picture of perfection. 

Annoyed, Wonwoo blindly grabs food from the shelf to pile in his arms. For good measure, he makes sure to get some cola. None of the food in his hands may be good for him, but he’ll enjoy them because he wants to get away from people. He needs time to himself. He  _ knows  _ that he agreed to getting food with Junhui and that he has a class to go to afterwards, but he wants to have some downtime. That means, if he grabs his food and gets back into the car, then he’ll have an extra ten minutes or so on campus to cool down. Plus, as long as he’s not doing a lab today, then he can even eat in the classroom. It’s a perfect, edited plan. “Let’s go, get what you want.” 

He doesn’t know why he wants to keep Soonyoung to himself all the time, but he’s worried about getting too excited, too attached so early on. It isn’t fair to be so moody towards Junhui, but if he is really the kind of friend that Wonwoo needs, then he’ll understand. And he must, because he grabs a drink from the cooler and follows Wonwoo up to the register to pay. 

Class blows, but there isn’t really a time when Wonwoo enjoys it all that much. His field of study is interesting, but he would rather be working with it than learning about how to. Much of the research he’s done on his major had been before university. Botany had always been his plan because he had always been drawn to it. Now that he’s studying it through the university though, he has come to lose some of that passion that drove him to it in the first place. The blame in this case is hard to place, but he does know that the professors are the droning, dispassionate types that are clearly only doing this for the money. In the past, they might have had a real interest in the field, but that has soured with time. Wonwoo hopes that that is never him. If he tires of botany, then he wants to move on or try another field. Studying isn’t entirely boring. It isn’t what he has a problem with, at least. He’s a natural at school. It is easy for him to read and retain information, but it is hard for him to sit there and listen to professors. He  _ craves  _ to be working with it one-on-one. That’s the way it has always been for him. 

Just as he’s leaving the science building, his phone starts vibrating. Seulgi shouldn’t be calling this late on a Wednesday, but she’s called at stranger times before. The number that lights up his screen when he checks it is  _ not  _ Seulgi, however. It’s Soonyoung. There’s a weird bottoming out that happens in his stomach, then he’s pressing his screen to answer the call. “Hey, I just got out of class.” Soonyoung says. His greeting runs into Wonwoo’s, but he doesn’t let that deter him. In fact, it sounds like he might just be running off of what little bravery he could muster in the moment. “I was wondering if you’d like to watch a movie? I know I can’t just invite myself over to your place, but I was thinking that… my place is shared while yours isn’t, so…? Does that sound okay? Movie at your place? If not, then that’s fine. I didn’t even ask if you were busy….  _ Nuggets _ . I’m such a scatterbrained fool. Uh, okay, though, movie? If you are free?” There’s more. Wonwoo can  _ hear  _ that he wants to say more, but he forces himself to stop and breathe. Or at least, that’s what Wonwoo suspects he’s doing. 

“A movie? What movie?” Wonwoo doesn’t like the dating game, but he wants to try his hand at it with Soonyoung. “I have a Netflix, so we can just use that.” 

“ _ Everyone  _ has a Netflix,” Soonyoung giggles. He actually  _ giggles _ and it makes Wonwoo’s heart jump. So many things about Soonyoung are so,  _ so  _ cute. Wonwoo doesn’t know how to cope with all his cutesy qualities. “Cool, though. I don’t know what movie though. We can scroll through our options?” 

Nervously, Wonwoo forces a laugh.  _ Of course.  _ ‘Everyone has a Netflix,’ rings through his head unnecessarily. He knows it had been silly to not assume that they would be using Netflix, but he’s no good at this. It should be like making plans with Mingyu, but when he does that, Mingyu takes the charge. Maybe he wants Soonyoung to iron out the details…  _ No _ , he shakes his head, leaning into his phone.  _ That’s not it…  _ “Cool. I’m passing the library right now. Do you want to meet me there? I just live right off campus.”  _ Easy, breathe, this doesn’t have to be so hard.  _

“Yeah! I’m actually headed there now!” The excitement in his voice should be contagious. While Wonwoo’s excited to see Soonyoung, he doesn’t know what Soonyoung’s expectations are. His therapist had said to take it slow. Should he not have accepted this invitation? Was agreeing to a second date already bad? Is this a second date? Dating generates that anxiety that he doesn’t like to admit that he has. It is a type of worry that eats away at him obnoxiously. If he could just be handed a book on how to behave in front of Soonyoung, then he wouldn’t be such a failure. “I think I see you!” The call ends abruptly and Wonwoo hears the pounding of feet against concrete. 

_ He’s running _ . 

“Wonwoo!” With his hands in the air, Soonyoung makes his way towards Wonwoo. He’s dressed in a t-shirt that’s way too big for him. It’s obnoxiously pink. His pants are a pale yellow and slim. They  _ definitely  _ suit him. He’s all muscles in his legs and as he runs, Wonwoo can see how toned he is. Either Soonyoung dresses that way because he knows he’s hot, or he’s hot so he can just make anything look good. Inner Mingyu warns him not to drool because that’s something that Mingyu has actually done before. Joshua didn’t think too kindly of it. 

Finally, he reaches him. Awkwardly, Wonwoo fixes his glasses and gives Soonyoung a smile that doesn’t even begin to match the pure joy shining on his face. “Hey,” he says, waiting for Soonyoung to catch his breath before they start their walk to Wonwoo’s house. It takes Soonyoung no time at all. Wonwoo can only marvel at his stamina, but he supposes that he needs that when he’s a dancer  _ and  _ a choreographer. “You good?” 

Soonyoung gives him an ‘okay’ sign and falls into step with Wonwoo who is leading the way. “I’m excited,” he admits. It is so genuine that Wonwoo has to wonder how a person like Soonyoung even exists. He’s lucky to even know Soonyoung. “I even packed some popcorn in my backpack in case you said yes. I haven’t gotten to watch a movie in so long. I’ve been working or in classes every day this semester. I still had to put a couple hours in after last night? That’s bonkers, right? Totally messed up.” Wonwoo finds himself chuckling. There’s something so comfortable about Soonyoung and the way he talks. Everything he’s thinking seems to just fall out of his mouth. None of his thoughts can just stay contained. It’s a good feeling. 

Wonwoo likes how it feels to be together with Soonyoung. 

“Junhui? He’s an old friend of mine! Wasn’t he a dance major for a little bit? His parents were a bit harsh on him since he came from China to study here. They weren’t like…  _ mean _ . I just think they thought that if Junhui wanted to dance, then he should study something else too. Especially with all the money that it cost to go here. Minghao and him were pretty close.” Wonwoo doesn’t know how they’ve gotten on the subject of Junhui, but it probably had something to do with Wonwoo’s retelling of his day. He had cleverly left out his therapy appointment, instead saying that Junhui and him grabbed breakfast before class. “I really like all the music majors that I see. Jihoon introduced me to a bunch of upcoming singers. His favorites are Seokmin and Seungkwan.” 

“I know Seungkwan,” Wonwoo says, bowl full of popcorn in his lap. Soonyoung had been finishing his own bowl because even though Wonwoo assured him that he couldn’t eat a bowl, he insisted that they had to make two. In the end, they had decided to start a new drama that interested them both instead of watching a movie. Two or three episodes would end up equating to a whole movie anyway. Honestly, Wonwoo is happier with this setup: it means that they have a commitment. It is a promise to see each other again. 

Flopping down on the couch, Soonyoung picks up the remote and starts the first episode. “I’m excited to spend more time with you. I hope you don’t mind that I sprung this on you all of a sudden. I figured that we might both need it, plus I won’t have a night off until this weekend otherwise.” He isn’t looking at Wonwoo because he might be embarrassed to admit his feelings so openly, but Wonwoo wishes that he was. He wants to see how he makes Soonyoung feel. All of this is so new and confusing to Wonwoo, but it shouldn’t be for Soonyoung. There is an interest here, but neither know its depth. “I thought last night was nice… I hope you liked it too.” 

Finally, he looks towards Wonwoo with this brilliant s mile. It is enough for him right now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always! feel free to comment or send me any suggestions for chapters. i have something Big and Dramatic coming up in the next chapter bcos u know that just has to happen.... it has been too good and happy

**Author's Note:**

> my twitter is minshuas_ !


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